The last post of 2006! 

Since I had the baby boy with me and I knew he was getting kinda bored, I figured it would be a good day to go ride the train from Grapevine to the Fort Worth Stockyards. The train departed at 1 pm and, of course, I got the idea after I got back from the grocery store shortly after 11ish.

We headed to the train depot shortly after noon. It seemed EVERYONE had the same idea. Why the bloody hell I didn’t get out sooner is beyond me. I should have known better, especially a holiday weekend. It was a struggle to find a parking space. We got there and got the absolute last two seats on the train.

Once on, it was packed. Like sardines. Awful! There were no seats left. I mean, there were a few for one person scattered throughout. But this is what kills me. Here I am with a small child and there are folks who have stuff in the seat next to them just because they don’t want to share the bench. I mean, give me a freaking break already. One guy had a big backpack in the seat beside him and it was CLEAR he was a single rider. So I was getting agitated by that.

I made it all the way to the last car and still no seats. I didn’t want to have to stand – or make the baby stand – for an hour and a half train ride (it’s a slow train). Finally, there was a lady sitting by herself with two people across from her. I asked if anyone was sitting beside her and she said no and graciously allowed us to sit down. I put the baby on my lap and minutes later we were off.

My agitation melted somewhat when the train whistle blew and his little face just lit up with such joy and excitement. He was so thrilled and excited to be riding the train. He counted every train crossing we passed. Once we got there, getting off was another matter altogether.

You know, you’d think they’d have it better organized, herding folks off the train. But the conductor and other workers just let people do whatever. As soon as the train stopped, people jumped up to get off the train. I kept a tight hold on the little boy and shielded him with my body so he wouldn’t get trampled.

The general public pisses me off completely. They would rather run over a woman and her kid than just wait two :censored: seconds. :yelling:

We get off the train and we’re in the Stockyards and it’s crawling with people. The sun had managed to come out some, but the wind was still chilly. We walked around for a bit and I realized I hadn’t brought any cash with me. And the baby wanted to do the Human Maze. So the hunt for a working ATM was on.

The :censored: ATM charged $3.50 to get money out of my account. THAT ticked me off too. But, it was for a good cause. It was so the baby could have some fun. So I bit back my string of curses, got the money, and off we went.

They gave us a card with the letters M A Z E on it and the object was to find the letters in the human maze, punch them out, and get to the finish line. Okay. No sweat, right? Wrong. We were in it for over 30 minutes. We managed to find M first – it was the easiest. Then came E on a platform that overlooked the entire maze. Couldn’t find A to save my life. The worker – who had tatoos up and down his arm and was kinda cool – took me out of the maze and put me back in. At the entrance he said, “Go right.” So I did and – TADA – we found A.

But Z was another matter altogether. We searched that stupid maze – I thought – all over. Never found that darn Z. And time was getting close to catch the train back. So we had to leave without the Z. The baby was okay with that. He had a great time. He got to pick a prize – he picked a rubber snake.

Back at the train, people were crowded up to get on. Of course. You’d think folks would be courteous and take turns getting on. But no. As soon as “All Aboard” was shouted, you’d think it was a stampede to get on. Which highly agitated me. I picked the baby up to avoid him getting trampled.

I was trying to be polite and wait my turn, but it was clear no one gave a damn whether or not I got a turn. A passenger opened up the back door of one of the cars and climbed on (there were steps but they weren’t exactly pulled out which meant climbing on). So I took matters into my own hands. I bolted for that and put the baby on the train. Then he did something that surprised me. He extended his hand and helped me up.

That was the only nice thing I can say for folks who rode the train. We found a seat and it wasn’t long before we were headed home. About 10 minutes he, the baby climbed on my lap and promptly fell asleep.

By the time we got back to Grapevine, it was dark. We were starving and we both had to use the bathroom pretty bad (must have been that large Coke we shared…). So I hauled ass home. I was going to cook dinner, but it was 7 before we hit the door and I couldn’t face it. We had leftovers instead.

The day’s activity was a reminder that the general public really does suck and there are reasons why I prefer to stay at home. It’s hard to do, though, when you have a little one who wants to go and do stuff.

It was an exhausting day. I got him in the tub and started taking down the Christmas decorations. There’s just something about having to get them down in a hurry after Christmas for me. I’ve always taken them down New Year’s weekend.

I thought the baby would go right to sleep last night but I thought wrong. He was up until after 10. Must have been that 45 minute nap he took on the train. I fainted on the couch watching HGTV somewhere between Design on a Dime and reDesign.

ANYWAY – today we’re going to take it easy. We got up late this morning and I cooked bacon and eggs and toast. I got all the decorations put away. All I have left is to take down the tree but I’m in search of one of those Christmas tree bags so I don’t have to fight with putting the thing back in the box. I also need a tall enough ladder so I can store stuff in the attic. But that will have to wait.

It’s another cloudy day and much cooler than it has been. Tonight I’m letting the baby stay up as late as he wants – until midnight or when he crashes, whichever comes first. I’m also going to open my bottle of Yellow Tail Pinot Grigio and have a nice glass of wine to toast the new year. And that’s about it. Just a quiet time.

I hope everyone has a safe and happy new year. Here’s to a productive and successful 2007!

:cheers:

So… yesterday I had some errands to run. Went to the post office and mailed all my bills (grr) and then went to DSW Shoe Warehouse (FAVORITE STORE EVER) because they were having a hellacious sale.

I got a pair of $100 Guess shoes for $13! They were already marked down and then I got 50% off that price and then got an ADDITIONAL 50% off of the sale price. WOO! I totally love that I got them for such a steal. They are high-heeled clogs:

Style is called Jovanna-T. Cool, eh?

I took the baby boy with me to the store and tried these on. I asked him what he thought and he said, “They rock, Mom.” LOL So, you know, I had to get them.

I ran to Target then to make a return and got back $10 so in essence I only spent a total of $3 today. Isn’t that awesome?

It was one of those dreary gray days all day. By 4 pm, it was raining. And then it poured. And then we were under a torando warning. I was a little nervous. We lost satellite and I had to hook up the trusty old antenna to get the weather so I could make sure I knew what was happening. Had a little hail, but nothing to speak of.

The storm passed and I turned the computer back on. The satellite was working again. I started dinner and got it in the oven.

And then *poof* out went the power. I was completely caught off guard since it wasn’t even raining outside when it happened. Of course, the baby freaked out. I took him firmly by the hand and said we were going to get his flashlight (he ALWAYS has one in his room). So we did. And then lit every candle in the house.

There were three unfortunate things about the whole power outage: (1) my cell phone was about to die; (2) dinner was in my all-electric oven; and (3) my car was in the garage. The only thing I COULD do was turn the battery on in the car to charge the cell phone. Couldn’t leave. I hoped dinner would continue to cook as the oven cooled down. The baby got hungry, though. Luckily I had lunchmeat he could have.

The power was out for about an hour and a half. I finished cooking dinner, ate, and then it was time for his bath. Got him in bed around 9:30 but because he took an hour long nap (he decided himself he wanted to go lay down), he didn’t want to go sleep until well after 10. And I’m exhausted.

Figures.

It rained off and on again but then finally all was quiet by bedtime. What a relief.

Oh, and I wrote a page and a half yesterday. Not much, but I did write. It felt good to get back into Lirron’s and Kincaid’s world. I hope to get more done on it in the coming days.

Have no idea what that plan is for today but … we’re going to do something all right.

Can you believe there’s only one day left in 2006?

This has been quite possibly the best and worst year. I’d say “of my life” but there are many more years to come yet.

In January, life as I knew it dissolved in one day. Shattered into a thousand shards never to be pieced back together again. And that was okay because the life I was in was beating me down.

February, I had my own apartment and started a new beginning. I had a mish-mash of furniture, lived in a tiny 700 square foot place, and tried not to cry every night. And I wasn’t shedding tears for the lost marriage. I was shedding tears for my son.

By March, April, and May, I stuck a toe into the new world of my independence and breathed in the fresh air. It was exuberant. I no longer had to “report” to anyone or live my life according to someone else’s plan. I tried eHarmony and Match.Com and found out it just wasn’t for me. In early May, I traded in my gas-guzzling high-priced Tahoe for a fuel-efficient Kia Spectra. It had been years since I drove a stick (and a sedan) so it was something to get used to. But I really like the car and it’s saved me a ton of cash on gas, insurance, and car payment. (Now I’ve got my eye on the Sportage – I really miss my SUV. Someday, though…)

June came along and I decided I had to make financial decisions. I was going to buy a house and I was going to do it on my own with no one helping me. While the idea sounded easy, it wasn’t. It was quite possibly one of the most stressful things I’ve done (but I’ll get to that in a minute).

I started socking away money the next two months and talking to a realtor. She said I needed about three months to look for a house before the lease ran out. So I made a plan and outlined what money I needed to have to get into a house. I talked to an annoying, rude-ass mortgage lender. It seemed to me, she was too busy to deal with me but gave me a vague idea of what I needed to do to get into a house.

So I paid off bills and opened a money market account with the help of Insurance Agent Extraordinaire. And bought new living room furniture from Ikea – new couch, coffee table, two chairs. While the shopping part was great, getting the furniture home was quite a different story.

August brought my first royalty check for TALK DIRTY TO ME. I sold over 200 copies of the ebook and made a very nice sum of money. I put it all towards bills and the house fund. I found a house and put a contract on it. But after the inspection report came back saying there were major foundation issues, I had to back out. The only problem with that was, I had already given written notice at the apartment complex…and there was no way in hell I was going to stay another month.

September stressed me beyond all reason. I could have stayed another month had I talked with the apartment manager. But I didn’t want to go through that, especially since I was breaking the lease early. So, my Realtor Extraordinaires got a plan, pulled a ton of listings, and we looked at house after house. Ten in one night! I found one, wrote up the contract and we were off and running again.

Since I had the financing already in place (thanks to an excellent credit rating and a mortgage broker that was quick with the paperwork), I didn’t have to worry about that aspect of it. What I did have to worry about was getting the earnest money down, getting the money for yet another inspection, finding movers, and packing.

And in the middle of the month, I had a trip planned with some friends. Yeah, it was the worst time to go out of town for three days but I needed it. And I had planned it for the last five months so I wasn’t going to miss out.

While I was away, the second house went through its inspection. When I got back, I talked to the realtor again and found out the results of that inspection. It had good foundation and there were minor things throughout. Nothing major. Water heater was only a year old. The only questionable thing was the AC unit. It would have to be replaced soon, but I was hoping to get at least a year or two out of it.

It was a done deal. The pressure was on to get packed and moved in less than two weeks. I was determined to get out of a small 700-square-foot one bedroom apartment and into that 1300-square-foot three bedroom house. I think I must have talked to my realtors every single day that month.

Finally got everything done (after many stressful days of dealing with the mortgage broker who hounded me for paperwork at the last minute, who drove me to the point I was nearly insane, and who made me tell my realtor I was “not a fan” at closing). It was time to move! I closed on a Friday, got funding and keys that day. A good friend of mine and her son came to help. Without his muscle and his truck, I would not have been able to get as much moved in one day as I did. (All the boxes from storage and all the boxes from the apartment! Plus he went with me to Office Depot and helped me pick up a new desk for the office.) The movers came on Sunday and got all the furniture. By Tuesday I was all unpacked and by the following weekend, I had curtains hung, pictures on the wall and boxes emptied.

October slowed down somewhat. Another trip to Ikea (certainly less eventful than the previous one with the Rental Van From Hell fiasco) and I purchased bedroom furniture. Real grown-up furniture! I was so excited about that. Halloween came and went. Sweetie Boy dressed up as Batman and we went trick or treating. I painted the kitchen that month and had a near painting disaster. 

November brought the holidays. Thanksgiving at my brother’s house with the family. The following day I painted the bedroom. Twelve long hours of painting the walls, climbing up and down on the ladder, crouching on the floor. I was sore in places I didn’t know I could get sore. The next day, I kidnapped Mom and she helped me hang new blinds in the bedroom and do other miscellaneous things around the house.

And by December…well, it was a difficult month. I came to realize I had to make some tough decisions. So I did some research and came to the conclusion on what I had to do.

Overall, the year was a good one, despite the fact it started off so bad. It definitely had its ups and downs. I bought my very own house. I sold three books. TALK DIRTY TO ME made it all the way to #2 on the Samhain best-seller list in just one week. I got a promotion at work. I met someone I really like and started actually dating.

I learned this year even in your darkest times, your true friends stick with you no matter what. They don’t judge you for the mistakes you’ve made. Instead, they hug you and tell you everything will be okay in the end. They lend a sympathetic ear and listen when you need them.

I learned when you think you can’t go on another day, it helps to wallow in your misery for at least a day, then get over it, dig down deep, and find more strength and courage to soldier on. (And eat lots and lots of chocolate!)

I learned you might be surprised by your own strength and determination. You might be surprised by what you can accomplish if you just believe in yourself. Even the teensiest bit.

I learned everything happens for a reason even though that reason may not be clear at first. Have faith in yourself. Stay strong to overcome every obstacle that gets in your way. Never give up on something, even though it seems impossible.

And above all, don’t let ANYONE beat you down, intimidate you, or try to tell you your worth. What they think really doesn’t matter. It’s what you think about yourself – having that inner strength and confidence.

(I am, of course, using the word “you” collectively…)

It’s something I have to remind myself nearly daily. Stay strong, be confident, overcome.

As for 2007… well, it will be a good year. I’m going to write and sell more books. I’d like to go to RWA Nationals in the summer, but that might not work out. I don’t have a lot of big plans for the coming year, just a few short-term goals.

And I’m sure I’ll buy more shoes.

Hey I forgot to mention I’m blogging over at the Chicas blog today! Get on over there and read my Christmas story. Oh, and you might want to have a tissue handy. Yeah, it’s one of THOSE stories.

Don’t feel much like blogging today but I’ll be back tomorrow with my year-end ruminations.

I started this post on the 26th, but I never got to go back and finish it…so… I will now. Enjoy  

Another Christmas is over. For me, it just seems anticlimactic. We have all this build-up for a month and then – poof – in one morning it’s all over with.

Christmas Eve, the baby boy spent the evening with his dad and family to open gifts. I stayed home, drank a glass of wine, and put together toys. The nice thing was, I didn’t have to cook dinner. I watched the 1977 version of The Nutcracker with Mikhail Baryshnikov (when I was younger and dancing en pointe, I always wanted to be Clara). The man was an incredible dancer with such power. It was so cool to watch it again. It made me really want to go do the ballet.

When the baby got home, he went right to sleep. I fell asleep on the couch but woke up about 11 and put out the Santa stuff. Broke the stocking holder so I have to glue it back together today. Went to bed.

Woke up early – like 4 – and found a little boy in my bed. I had about 2 inches of mattress and little feet in my kidneys. I had no idea he had crawled in next to me. I guess I was that tired and dead to the world.

Christmas morning was good. He opened presents and played with all his cool new toys. Then we packed up and headed to Mom’s for the rest of the day. More presents. He got Battleship and he played a couple of games. He managed to beat is older cousin two games in a row.

We got home late – nearly 11 – and he was sacked out in the backseat. Got him in bed, then I crawled into mine and promptly passed out.

Tuesday went at a slow pace and it was nice. Ran a couple of errands on the morning and then we played all afternoon. I got him this really cool Mega Bloks Pyrates fort and lighthouse and we played with that and then a couple of board games.

Took him home and by the time I got back home, I fought the emotional breakdown I knew was coming. Eventually I gave in. It sucked. I hated every second of it but there was not much I could do about it.

The evening was quiet. Too quiet. There was no little boy noice in the background. Or cartoons on the TV. Or a little voice hollering, “Mom, this broke off again.”

I can’t even begin to explain the sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach dropping him off that night. Or the sharp stabbing pain in my chest. I :censored: hate it. I hate it. And so I force myself to focus on the positive. I had him for six straight days. We had a lovely time together and did lots of fun things. He had a great Christmas and that’s all that really matters.

Now it’s back to work time. I hope I have the strength to make it.

May you have a joyful and wonderful Christmas surrounded by love, peace, and happiness!

I know everyone is SUPER busy with last minute Christmas errands, shopping, gatherings, etc. so thanks for stopping by the blog.

The train ride didn’t happen yesterday. Seems the train we were going to ride wasn’t running. So I went to Plan B. Which consisted of driving to downtown to see the gigantic Christmas tree (which Sweetie Boy thinks is 700 feet tall…and maybe it is!).

On the other side of the tree, was Santa Claus, his sleigh, and his elves. So I asked my kiddo if he wants to tell Santa what he wants for Christmas and this is his last opportunity to do that because it’s in TWO days. He says yes. We wait in line for 30 minutes. He chickens out! There was no way in Hades he was going to get up there and talk to him. Even the lady behind me tried to help. Tried to have her son go up there with him. No way. Nu Uh. It simply was NOT going to happen.

Ah well.

At least we got to see the big tree! We took some pictures next to and in front of it. There was even a bush in the shape of a longhorn and Sweetie Boy thought that was hilarious. We had to take pictures.

Afterward, he headed across the street to Starbucks. He had two shortbread cookies and hot cocoa and I had a latte. We thawed out (because the wind was kinda cold) and then headed back home.

I cooked dinner while he got some computer time in and then we went to see some Chrsitmas lights. Granted, the pictures AREN’T that great (because, how good could they be from inside a vehicle?) but I thought I’d share. See below.

We drove around for about an hour and even went to the “fancy and rich” part of town where nearly EVERY house in this very small neighborhood puts out lights. It’s a high traffic area. Lots and lots of folks going to see the lights. It’s known as Diamond Loch and it backs up against a golf course, so you know… these folks have cash. But they have GOT to get sick of the traffic going in and out (only one entrance/exit) to their little subdivision every year. Ah well. It only happens once a year, right?

The man is working today so I doubt seriously I will get to see him anytime soon. Which sucks. BUT at least we get to talk every day.

Anyhoo – enjoy the pics. And… One day until Christmas!

(more…)

Today we are going to ride the train to the Fort Worth Stockyards and then we’re going to do that big ole maze (that was featured in a final episode of Amazing Race a couple of seasons ago). I think it’s going to be a smashing good time.

I cooked a nice roast yesterday with sauteed onions, bell pepper and mushrooms. It was really delish. And I’m starting to thoroughly enjoy cooking again. Maybe because I’m in my very own kitchen in my very own house.

The Sweetie Boy and I ran some errands yesterday morning too. I headed to the office to pick up an expense check and we chatted with the receptionist for a bit. Then I had two Christmas presents waiting for me at my desk…and a sticky eyeball from my ball for the baby. He thought that was totally cool. He played with it all day yesterday. Then we ran by his dad’s and picked up his boots because he needs those to run very fast in the maze – or so he said.

I also took some pictures with my camera using the timer of the two of us and there are some super good ones! I was pleased. Pleased enough to print them up and put them in frames for the house. I love having a digital camera and an awesome color photo printer.

Anyway…

Can you believe tomorrow is Christmas Eve?

Sophisticated Writer: The cheesecake in the entry below is a chocolate one. The recipe I sent you was for a cappuccino one. If you want this recipe, let me know and I’ll send it to you.

And now for something completely different. Thought I’d post this because it made me laugh.

Two days until Christmas!

CHRISTMAS CAROLS FOR THE DISTURBED

1. Schizophrenia — Do You Hear What I Hear?
2. Multiple Personality Disorder — We Three Kings Disoriented Are
3. Dementia — I Think I’m Home for Christmas
4. Narcissistic — Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me
5. Manic — Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and…
6. Paranoid — Santa Claus is Coming to Town to Get Me
7. Borderline Personality Disorder — Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire
8. Personality Disorder — You Better Watch Out, I’m Gonna Cry, I’m Gonna Pout, Maybe I’ll Tell You Why
9. Attention Deficit Disorder — Silent night, Holy oooh look at the Froggy – can I have a chocolate, why is France so far away?
10. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder — Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells

 

So for the last few nights, I’ve had trouble sleeping. And not only that, but I’ve had horrifying dreams. Scary dreams. It’s freaking me out.

Yesterday the baby woke me up at 6 am and of course he crashed hard at about 4. I couldn’t get him to wake up until 6:30. Which meant he didn’t want to go to bed last night until well after 10.

:wall:

And I was so exhausted. Every time I started to doze off, he would get up and wake me up again.

Ah well.

Anyway – got lots of good stuff with my gift cards yesterday at Target. Fireplace tools, flannel sheets for the baby’s bed, slippers, a gift for my neice and some miscellaneous other things. I always go overboard with these things. I just can’t seem to help myself.

The cat has decided the tree and everything UNDER it is his. Yesterday he broke one of my glass balls under the dining table. How he managed that, I have no idea. (It’s all carpet!)

This morning he’s all over the tree and it’s all I can do to keep him out of it. Now he’s staring up at the peep hole on the garage door. Wonder what he sees? Goofy cat.

Today we’re goin to run up to my office because the baby wants to see the “big buildings” downtown and go inside one. Then we’re going to bake a NY Cheesecake for Christmas Day. And tomorrow we’re going to go ride the train!

TGIF Ya’ll! and:

Three days until Christmas!

Thanks for all the comments on yesterday’s post. It really did help. I get frustrated sometimes with folks who don’t understand there really ARE people who want to be single. Right now, I want to be single.

I’ve been down in the dumps for a while but I got a good bit of news yesterday afternoon. I have hope again. Hope was a really nice early Christmas present for me.

I’m on vacation starting today! YES! I have the Sweetie Boy with me, too, and we’re going to bake and shop and just have some fun.

Yesterday was the cook/bake off at the office. I entered my to-die-for chocolate cheesecake (pictured here – thanks, Jen, for the picture!). The Reddi-Whip kinda melted on top before the festivities began, but it was still good. It’s a chocolate cheesecake with this chocolate topping (sort of like ganache). I used chocolate graham crackers for the crust. I’m told it was delish, since I never eat the stuff. I just bake it.

Anyhoo, there were three categories: Most Sinful, Presentation, Best Tasting.

I won for Most Sinful. And I thought that was highly appropriate for me. hehe My friend, Jen, won for presentation. She made what’s called Dirt Dessert and it’s oreo pudding – you make it in a flower pot and then crush up oreos for the top, gummy worms, and stick in fake flowers. It was so cute! There was also banana pudding, which wone for Best Tasting.

So, I got a gift card to Target for my win. And then the office manager passed out gift cards to Targe for everyone. SCORE! So I told the baby he could pick out two movies at Target – and I’m getting a new hair dryer. WOOHOO!

I also have bank and post office errands to run. Sweetie Boy asked me if we were baking anything and I told him we’d do another cheesecake together – this one a New York style – and that will be for Christmas day at my mom’s.

Christmas has been good so far. Got some lovely gifts from some co-workers and good friends. I’m really really looking forward to spending my first Christmas in my new house with my Sweetie Boy. Thinking about it gives me the heart squeeze.

And with that, I’ll leave you to your Thursday!

Four days until Christmas!

Yesterday morning I went to Sweetie Boy’s party at school. I am so glad I went, even though – for whatever reason – I was kind of dreading it. It was drizzling and rainy and just gross out so I wasn’t thrilled to drive in it. Anyway, it was fun – I got to read to some of the kids while a couple of the other groups finished up their activities. They are all so cute!

I helped the baby boy but a string on his ornament and use the glittery pens (got glitter ALL over me) and then I even helped two of the cutest little girls EVER at the same table – both blonde and both adorable.

I tend to shy away from talking to other parents; I’d rather hang out with the kids (which is TOTALLY weird because I’m really not a kid person). It’s not that I’m anti-social (okay, a little), but it’s just that I’ve found I get asked questions I really don’t want to answer. Example. As I was standing with one of the other moms, she asked me where I worked. Small talk. Okay, I’m cool with that. So I told her where I worked and what kind of company it was and what I did for them.

Then I get this question: “So is he your youngest or your oldest?” Immediately assuming I have more than one.

“He’s the only,” I said.

“Oh. Are you planning to have more?”

Okay, maybe it’s just me – and my current state of mind – but I was completely offended by this question. Why is it NOT okay to have just one child? But wait – there’s more.

“No,” I said. “I’m done having kids.”

“Well,” she said, a big hopeful grin on her face, “accidents DO happen you know! I said the same thing and then I got my second daughter.”

:censored:

“Well, his dad and I are divorced so I doubt that will happen.”

And PS he’s “fixed”. Not that THAT’S any of her business either…

Why did I feel as though I needed to explain that to her? It totally ticked me off after I thought about it all damn day and realized how incredibly RUDE that was. BUT WAIT – there’s more.

So then she smiles that pathetic smile. “Well, I’m sure you’ll get married again some day.”

I waited for her to pat me sympathetically on the shoulder. As if being single is completely tragic.

I SO wanted to say, “Men are bastards. I want no part of that.” But instead, I said, “No, I’m done.” And then I walked away.

I mean, really. Just because YOU want to be married and have a passel of kids, doesn’t me I do. And I don’t mean to be offensive to ANYONE who is happily married with kids. The family unit is great – I came from a big family (I have three siblings) with parents who were married 40 plus years. I have NOTHING against it. It’s just not for me. Maybe not now. Maybe not ever. And I really don’t appreciate women looking at me as though my life is a tragedy because I’m single and a mom of one.

I’m happily single. I don’t miss the ex. Not a day has gone by I’ve missed the ex. OF COURSE I miss my kid. I miss him every second he’s not with me and wake up in the middle of the night and wonder if he’s okay. And if it’s thundering outside in the middle of the night, I worry about him. I wonder if he’s scared and if he’s being comforted. I wonder if he got to school okay and if he happy and having a good day.

Does that mean I want more kids? No. Does that mean I need to get married just to fill a void that’s the size of a Black Hole? No.

I’m happy being single. I’m independent and capable. I can take care of myself. I don’t NEED a man to help me live my life or “complete” me or any of that horseshit. What I do need, however, is my son, friends who love me unconditionally, a home to call my own, a job that gives me satisfaction, and a man who understands how important my independence is.

Hm. It seems I already have that.

I was tagged by Leigh – so here goes.

Six weird things about me:

1. I love crunchy peanut butter but I detest nuts in my ice cream or my candy.

2. I had to consult my Best Good Friend on six weird things about me.

3. I must have total darkness and silence when I go to bed.

4. I love to bake cheesecakes but I hate to eat them.

5. I’m a nonsmoker and won’t even date a smoker, but six martinis in, I’m puffing away.

6. I can’t stand for the toilet seat to be open! Drives me nuts.

I’m tagging Lara, Devon, Sophisticated Writer, and Sandy S.

Now for the Disgust part…

I am, by no means, a germaphobe (Best Good Friend can attest to this). However, there are times where I find myself completely disgusted by how people conduct themselves and live.

Case in point – Monday I moved to the cubicle previously occupied by The Broad. But first, it had to be cleaned up and the supplies there removed to make way for my stuff.

I really feel like I needed a biohazard suit to conduct the cleaning of this cubicle. It was completely filthy and disgusting. I don’t mind cleaning – really – but I despise cleaning after someone else. Especially when that someone else was dirty.

I used Lysol antibacterial wipes to clean the desk and when I got done, the wipes were black. I’m not kidding. There was hair everywhere. ICK. I was completely grossed out by the entire experience. Even the IT guy said to make sure I wash my hands frequently.

Yeah, no kid.

And since my previous monitor was a total beast, I decided I wanted to use the smaller one that went with her station. Um. Ick. And that’s all I’m saying. I cleaned it from top to bottom along with the desk surface of the area. I swear I must have washed my hands a dozen times AND used hand sanitizer – so you know I was thoroughly grossed out if I’m using hand sanitizer (right, Voodoo?).

I can’t imagine being that…unclean (I can’t think of another word for it). Okay, so granted my area was dusty. But that’s it! You won’t find icky crap all over the desk area! (Just a few dust bunnies behind the very large monitor.) And if her cubicle looks like that…I shudder to think what her house looks like…

Anyway… I finally got situated into my new cubicle and I have to say I really like it. Lots more storage space for me and I’m not in a high traffic area anymore. It’s greatness.

In other news, handed out my mini bundt cakes and they were an absolute hit. Woo! I didn’t eat any, but I hear they were to-die-for.

I went by Walgreen’s and got some stocking stuffers for the kiddo. I so want him to have a lovely Christmas this year. May I just say I love the Walgreen company? Sometimes you can really find some great treasures there.

In other news, today I’m going to the Sweetie Boy’s Christmas party at school. And then I get to pick him up on Wednesday and have him through the day after Christmas (with the exception of Christmas Eve where he’ll be with his dad for their Christmas festivities).

I’m looking forward to spending the time with him. I hope he’s not a horrid child this time around.

My chocolate cheesecake has been baked for the big cook-off at the office. Cross your fingers for me! I’m hoping I win something. I mean, how can it NOT? It’s just too sinful of a treat NOT to win.

Happy Tuesday, ya’ll!

Haven’t done one of these in a while…

You Are a Brownie

Decadent and intense, you aren’t for the weakhearted. Those who can deal with your strong flavor find out how sweet you really are.