This glancing life is like a morning star — A setting sun, or rolling waves at sea
A gentle breeze or lightning in a storm — A dancing dream of all eternity

I just LOVE this new Loreena McKennitt. It’s great. And the above is from one of the songs that is quickly becoming a favorite – Caravanserai.

Tuesday was quite possibly the weirdest day yet. I knew I should have gone home and started over with first I (a) killed the car engine – in traffic - because I “forgot” I had a standard and took my foot off the clutch and (b) got the strangest phone call EVER.

But I was in good company with Best Good Friend who just wasn’t a happy camper either. I guess there was something in the air.

The weird “wheels off” phone call came close to the end of the day. The guy on the other end said, “Hi, Michelle. I don’t know if you remember me but I met you at a GNC about a year and a half ago…” And I’m searching my memory for such an event and recall NONE. I’m say, “WHO is THIS?” and it turns out he was looking for the previous Michelle (who was blonde and drove a Jeep) that worked at that office and in the same department. Yeah. I replaced a gal named Michelle nearly two years ago. Isn’t that nice? It’s a cause for confusion sometimes. Apparently, the dude was looking for her so he could “hook up” with her again. What a sleezeball. I mean – what is UP with these ballsy men who think it’s perfectly okay to call a woman OUT OF THE BLUE with a “Hey baby” attitude?

Men. There are very few in this world that are worth the trouble. Most of them are scumbags.

Anyway. I finished the galley proof of BEND IN TIME and got it off last night. AND, as I was perusing Samhain’s website last night, I found THIS! WOO! This must mean that art work is not far behind. Yay me!

The chat went well last night – I totally spaced and forgot to blog about it but I did send an announcement via my newsletter group yesterday. What’s that? You’re not subscribed to The Monthly Grind? Well, get thee subscribed ASAP. Just scroll to the top of the sidebar here or hop on over to my website.

Had the Sweetie Boy with me last night during the live chat. THAT was certainly a challenge and he was a lot of fun. He wanted to know why I was only chatting with girls and what did LOL stand for? Plus, The Romance Galleria (if you haven’t been, check it out – it’s awesome) is all 3-D so the people walk around in a virtual reality thing. It’s cool.

I cooked fried chicken and I can’t tell you how glad I’m going to be when that new stove arrives. This stove is SUCH a POS.

On the writing front, I did get some words in today during the lunch hour on the Neo. Not many, but I got some in. Hey – I’m writing! It’s something at least.

And it’s Hump Day. What a relief. I’m painting this weekend! The baby’s room will be done by Sunday if it kills me. I’m going to let him help. THAT should be fun…

I stole this from Devon:

 

Get Your Monster Name

  

“Do not give up; the beginning is always the hardest.”

Yesterday started as a great day and ended up pretty sweet.

First of all, I’d like to say I got another review for A BEND IN TIME. It’s from Fallen Angel Reviews – and they gave me 5 angels! This is my first 5! EVER! I am so stoked. The reviewer humbles me and says:

“Holy time travel Batman! What an amazing, griping story. I couldn’t put the book down; it was driving me crazy wanting to know what was going to happen next! Michelle Miles is an engaging author with a very vivid imagination… She is truly an amazingly gifted writer.”

You can read the entire review here.

I couldn’t stop smiling after that! It totally made my day. Even though there was an asshole that tried very hard to piss me off today, I ignored it and continued on my merry way. Talk about a total kick in the pants to get your going! If THIS doesn’t give me motivation, then nothing will. Right?

Right.

So. I ended up having dinner at The Man’s restaurant with a friend who so graciously took pity on my pathetic self when I couldn’t go on Saturday. We had a good time – we didn’t even talk about work - and The Man took very nice care of us.

I’m not sure if I blogged about the Valentine’s Day Debacle, but suffice it to say he ordered me flowers and I never got them. And he was TICKED. So he chewed on the florist and they gave him a refund and told him to please never come back. (I told him later that screaming the F word at the florist was probably NOT a good thing…)

Anyway. So as we’re having dinner for three hours (because I simply didn’t want to leave and I love watching him work – he’s very good at what he does and quite well respected), he came by and said he had something for me. He disappears and comes back a few minutes later with a gold box in hand. Turns out it’s a box of Godiva Chocolate. The box with six different kinds in it. He said it was for Valentine’s Day when I ended up NOT getting flowers.

I was so touched. Okay, so he was a couple of weeks late. So I never got the flowers. But he tried. And not only did he try, he made up for it. I think it’s incredibly sweet. And then he took care of the entire tab for dinner.

And in case you’re wondering what the quote at the top of this post is…well, that was my fortune cookie.

Very eerie, eh? I’d swear on my life he picked it out himself. Even my friend’s fortune was eerie.

Eerie. And timely. All of this came at a time when things are not working out for me on the writing front. And…you know me…I believe everything happens for a reason.

So. Time to get the butt in gear and finish that dragon story, eh?

The weekend went FAR too fast for my liking. I can’t believe it’s Monday already. And you know what? I can’t even remember what I did on Friday. THAT stucks.

So. I can’t remember if I’ve blogged about this or not, but I got my galley proof of A BEND IN TIME. Corrections are due March 1 so last night, I printed the entire thing, sat at the kitchen table and read all evening. I finished the book and there are some errors I need to get fixed before it goes to print.

It’s funny – I can definitely tell a difference in my written from the beginning of the book to the end. The writing is tighter toward the back of the book. And part two IS my favorite section. It’s where Skye and Dane finally realize they are irresistable to each other.

Lara tagged me with that I needed when I write. You know, it would be great if I was writing and I could answer this question… Actually. I need silence when I write. All I want to hear is the hum of the computer. Okay, sometimes I do write at work during my lunch hour on the Neo and that background bustle does help. But I find that the moment I get immersed in the world, I have to stop and it jerks me right back out and THAT sucks.

Anyway. Things I have on my desk when I write. The Romance Writers’ Phrase Book – it’s cliched but it helps. Building Believable Characters – a resourceful character thesaurus. Thumb drive. Pictures of the baby. Music. And what type of music depends on the mood I’m in and what I’m writing. Dictionary. A drink of some sort – coffee, tea, martini. Printer. Every now and again, I have my child running in and out.

I guess that about covers it.

I’m tagging Dennie and Ames and anyone else who wants to answer the tag.

And sinc I’m freezing my ass off as I write this, I’m off to bed. To my nice warm bed with that’s already pre-heated. hehe

Just a quickie post here. Went to the movies today with baby boy, Best Good Friend, Niece #1 and #2, and friends. We were quite the crowd. Anyway. Saw Bridge to Terabithia and we all cried our eyes out. Except for the Sweetie Boy who kinda got bored half way through and was more interested in the projector overhead (we were on the back row) than the movie.

Then I took him home, got gas, got food, came home and played with my new program and made my own ringtones. DUDE! That rocks! The Man has a new ringtone. heh heh

Speaking of The Man… due do the high winds yesterday, it knocked out power all around the Metroplex. Including his restaurant. From 1 pm until 7:30. Yeah. He was not a happy man. Quite foul, actually.

As for me…well… I can relax now that the taxes are done and I am beginning to see the light at the end of the financial tunnel. What a relief.

More to come tomorrow.

This morning was an early start. Got up and went to a local RWA chapter’s meeting to hear a talk about marketing. It was good! Then after, had a very fattening lunch.

THEN…I filed my taxes. Talk about a sweat-session. But it’s all done and I don’t have to think about it ANY more until next year. AND I’m getting a return so I’m happy about that. (Thanks to Ames for telling me about TurboTax online!) I filed electronically and my return will be direct deposited. I just love that!

It’s quite windy today. So windy, in fact, the sky has this brown haze to it. It’s all the dirt in the air, I guess. I really need to go grocery shopping but I have no desire to do it in this wind. And I’m out of absolutely EVERYTHING so I really do need to go.

Anyway, not much else to report this Saturday. I think I’m going to go nap. I need it.

Okay. So. I discovered after paying my bills last night I might have overextended myself a wee bit. But I’m not going to panic it. Nope. Not me. Not yet. I have a plan. Sort of.

It involves no credit cards and paying off the debt. Yes. That’s what it involves.

I gotta say, though, the stove was a much needed item. I was looking at the beat up on the other night and realized that one side is being held up by a block of wood. How nice is that. Yeah. It was time to retire that sucker. I just absolutely cannot WAIT until I get the new one.

Which brings me to my over-extension. I have no interest for 24 months, so that means I need to schedule my payments out and figure out how to pay the thing off in 24 months. I figured out how much I would have to pay a month to make that happen. And it’s not a terribly large amount either, which is nice. (It’s becuase I went for the middle-of-the-line stove instead of the top-of-the-line.)

I have to remind myself that just because I have oodles of credit cards DOES NOT mean I have oodles of buying power. Well, it DOES, but then I’ll be in a real pickle. Filing bankruptcy is just not an option. It’s the Credit Kiss of Death.

Anyway. Speaking of spending… I had a gift card so I got the new Norah Jones and the new Loreena McKennitt. I have to say, I was right pleased with the new Loreena. An Ancient Muse really does pick up where Book of Secrets left off and it’s a wonderful musical journey. It kept me calm while I paid bills and made a budget.

So yeah, my spending may have gotta a little out of hand. BUT I have so many things to show for it. The house is coming along beautifully and I just couldn’t be more pleased.

I’m happy it’s Friday. I have a busy weekend ahead and I’m looking forward to it. Tonight, the Sweetie Boy and I will be hanging out, as well as on Sunday. Best Good Friend and I are taking the kiddos to the movies.

Happy Friday!

Okay. This is bizarro. I wrote a post. I swear I did. But I must have typed it in invisible type or something because it didn’t show up! The scumbag!

Anyway – I had kind of a late night last night so I didn’t blog. But I DID stop at Chick-Fil-A this morning and it was quite tasty.

I’m blogging over at Southern Fried Chicas this morning about a subject that’s been plaguing me of late. You can read that here.

And for a walk down Voodoo’s memory lane, read her hysterical post here. I was weeping when I read it.

I’ll be back tomorrow. Promise.

First of all – It’s my mommy’s birthday! Happy birthday, Mommy!  

Yesterday’s post was very therapeutic for me. It’s like the second I purged all that stuff about not writing into the blog, no sooner did I climb into the bed than a new character started talking in my head.

So, perhaps the Muse was whispering sweet nothings into my ear. Or something. Who knows.

On Tuesday, I finally got the final piece working on my new laptop at work. That means I am 100 percent official with the new laptop and I can be mobile. This is a very good thing. Especially for the hecticness of the coming months.

I am trying not to stress myself out about everything I have to do. Because I’m only making myself insane at the thought of it all.

As it turns out, I’m going to have the Sweetie Boy on Sunday for the day. The ex and I were discussing these plans and the baby was standing there, listening intently. As we paused, he says, all serious, “That’s okay with me.” HA. I love that kid.

On another note… I’m having lunch with The Man today.

AND next Wednesday I’m getting my hair cut and colored.

There are other changes ahead. I just have to embrace them instead of fearing them. I know that sounds very mysterious but I can’t blog about it yet.

OH! And before I forget… I got the galley for my print version of A BEND IN TIME. The print date is… May 15! WOOHOO! I have to have all changes in by March 1.

And I have a TON of work to do between now and then…

Okay that’s it for me. Happy Hump Day, ya’ll.

I have a book. One that’s inside me wanting to come out. But sometimes, outside forces are too strong and won’t allow those characters to speak or that place to come alive. Sometimes, no matter how much you want it, it just won’t materialize.

It’s been a struggle lately for me to get these words on paper. I struggle with it every single day. And most days when I try, I get a blank void. It’s as though the Muse packed her shit and left. I feel as though my imagination has abandoned me. And when I sit down to write scenes between characters that are supposed to be hot…well, I get nothing. It’s like I can’t remember how.

Maybe because my head has been clogged for the last few days. And it hurts. Just throbs. It’s like an axe in the back of my skull sometimes. I swear it’s that bad. I had a headache come on like that Monday evening and it escalated to near-migraine proportions. It sucked, quite frankly, and I hate feeling that way.

Anyway. I feel like I need to rearrange myself. Or something. I don’t know what. But something needs to change and something needs to be different. I feel a lot of pressure, a lot of anxiety. I have memory lapses. I left Monday evening for a while and later, as I was sitting in Starbucks, I began to wonder if I had shut the garage door. And I have to say it really perplexed me that I couldn’t remember punching the button and shutting the door as I drove away.

I had originally intended to paint this weekend, but I decided sometime during the day that I needed to do something else. Instead, I am going to have a “fun” weekend. I’m going to a conference Saturday morning, then shopping and dinner with a friend. Then the movies on Sunday. I should be all funned out by the time Monday morning hits again.

So no, I’m still not writing. My brain USED to have a movie projector inside there – playing scenes nonstop. And characters would speak to me constantly. Maybe because my head has been so wrapped up in other things – daily life things – that it has somehow shut off. I don’t know. I’m not sure. For now, I’m just going to rest and let the mind figure it out on its own. Because the more I stress about it, the more blocked I become.

I told someone today that once these last two books came out – NICE GIRLS DO and A BREAK IN TIME – I was done. There would be no more books from me. And you know the response I got? It was two words: Shut up. And I know he’s absolutely right.

I also know that inside me, there may be the talent but the drive just isn’t there any more. Not right now. It’s like a little piece of me has curled up and died. And no amount of cajoling or pleading will make it come back.

Of course, I say all this today. Tomorrow could be different. It’s just what I’m feeling RIGHT NOW in this very moment. It doesn’t mean I’ll actualy do it and up and quit. Even though I’ve been told – and I know this for a fact – that quitting is never the answer. Quitting is the chicken-shit way out. Quitting is saying I’m afraid to try and succeed. Afraid to take another step forward. Quitting would be like severing a limb and hoping for a tourniquet to make the bleeding stop.

As for today…Well, I have very little faith in myself right now. And that’s is the biggest problem of all.

Hey, I’m actually blogging over at ShoeIQ today, so could you please check it out? You might learn something about words and shoes. Then again…maybe not…  :)

Okay. So. This weekend, I managed to gain some strength back.

Friday I slept until 2:30 and then got up and moved as slow as possible through the entire house. I went and got the Sweetie Boy for our weekend together. I swear, I felt like I had been hit by a truck.

I couldn’t bear the thought of cooking, so it was off to McDonald’s which made the boy happy. Then I laid on the couch most of the evening, dozing, while he watched Monsters, Inc. (favorite line: “I think I have a plan here. Using mainly spoons, we dig a tunnel under the city and release it into the wild.”) I woke up when the credits were rolling and it was about 9. I put the baby to bed and then crawled in bed myself.

Saturday morning, the sun woke up and so I struggled out of bed. I quickly discovered that languishing in bed was NOT the way to go. It was best for my head and sinuses if I just got up. Baby boy got up and we had breakfast and then it was off to the grocery store to pick up a few miscellaneous items I needed. I actually had the strenght to go to WalMart. Shocking.

Then that afternoon, I had a boost of energy and so I decided to hang my new blinds in my office. And some curtains. Yeah, that was a mistake. I was exhausted by the time I finished. Exhausted…AND I taught the little boy how to not only say but spell shit. So, yeah, um, that went well. For some reason, I thought by spelling the word, it would escape his notice and, well…it didn’t. He was spelling it out and using it correctly, I might add, in no time.

Great.

Since I had the ladder in the office hanging blinds and curtains, I figured I’d go ahead and change out the light bulb that was burned out in the overhead. It’s one of those uber-ugly 1970s light fixtures with the two bulbs. Gaw, I hate it and I can’t wait to replace it. But I digress…so all I had were 100 watt bulbs. I switch it out and Oh.my.gaw. I feel like I should be shackled to my desk chair with a pair of handcuffs and answering questions from a sweating, spitting bad cop or something. I must find a 60 watt and STAT.

(Speaking of STAT, did anyone watch Grey’s Anatomy on Thursday? AND OH MY GOD! I could NOT believe the ending. I had to watch it again later just to make sure I really saw what I was seeing! HOLY COW! Anyway…)

I was completely worn out by this time and cranky. And so what did I do? I picked up my credit card, and my son and I went to Best Buy…and I bought a new stove. It will be delivered in March 7. I can’t wait! I’d just had it with this piece of crapola I’d been cooking on. The coils (it’s electric) are not level and I’m tired of having uneven cooking. PLUS the oven is a total POS. I could have bought a top of the line one, but I didn’t. Instead, I picked a medium-of-the-line one and went for the 24 months no interest. I just couldn’t pass it up. It’s all black like my fridge and my dishwasher. And then I will have ALL NEW appliances. YAY!

Of course, they day after I buy it, they effing put the thing on sale. Figures.

Anyway. I still couldn’t bear the thought of cooking, so it was off to Applebee’s (his favorite restaurant).

(And as a sidenote: I put all my impulse spending credit cards in a bowl of water and put them in the freezer. No more spending for me!)

Sunday, it was dinner with the family. I didn’t get to spend nearly enough time with them, though. I had to head back home to drop off the baby at his dad’s. However, he did get to play outside with his cousin. I think he needed that so much. It was definitely good for him. He crashed in the car on the way home.

And Sunday I felt almost human again. Still stopped up, still sniffling. But at least I’m not blowing my nose every 2.3 seconds. Which means, of course, since I’m feeling much better I am back at work today. I can’t remember the last time I took a sick day. I’m sure I did at one point or another…

This weekend I’m planning to paint the baby’s room and get his new blinds and curtains up. One more room down… And I’ve decided I absolutely detest the color of my kitchen walls. What was I thinking? Yeah, I hate it. So it’s going to have to be a do over. Just as soon as I decide what color I’m painting the rest of the house, then I can decide on a color for the kitchen. I’m sort of thinking something more mocha-y. Or something.

Okay, totally rambling. Can you tell I’m feeling better?

Make it stop. Just make it stop. Tired of blowing my nose; tired of sneezing; tired of coughing. Just plain tired.

I did have a little energy yesterday and probably overdid it. That’s me - I always go full throttle even when I shouldn’t. I’m paying for it today.

Have to go to Mom’s for her birthday dinner. And before I do that, I have to finish laundry and make sure the baby gets his homework done.

All I really want to do is lay on the couch.

Stayed in bed most of Friday and I feel a little better today but still sickly. I’ve found that getting up and moving around helps a little with the head congestion.

Had a shower and it helped but it’s hard with the baby boy who wants me to come and do and play. I have not much energy for that. At least I managed to get the dishes out of the sink and the dishwasher going. AND I managed to make the bed and actually get dressed today. I have to go to Walmart for somethings…I hope I have the energy.

More later.

Too sick and too tired to even try to blog. Will have to tomorrow. Maybe.

At least it’s Friday

Hey – I’m blogging over at Chicas today, so stop on by if you can.

I’ve decided I need to get back to reading to help with the writing. THAT’S what’s been missing all this time. I haven’t picked up a book in MONTHS. Months, I tell you. It’s a very sad state of affairs.

So I need to get me a dirty little book to motivate me to write again. Now. Where am I going to find the time to do that?

I used to read before falling asleep but mostly that was because I didn’t want to be bothered by the husband. Now that I don’t have the husband, I don’t read any more. I guess I used it as a barrier to keep him away from me because then I could “fall asleep” while reading and he wouldn’t pester me to have sex. Isn’t that an awful confession? Awful, but true.

I haven’t been very gung-ho on writing anything lately. In fact, it takes all I can just to write my blog entries these days. And I have absolutely nothing to blog about lately over at ShoeIQ.

My life feels rather chaotic right now and I think that might be part of the problem. I write best when things are calm and there is no turmoil. Writing while depressed does NOT work for me either. I know some folks do their best writing when depressed. But not me. And it’s not that I have to be totally 100 percent happy either. I just need balance. I don’t feel like I have that balance right now.

Valentine’s Day was no different than any other day, though I have to say something kinda cool DID happen. I listen to the morning guys at KZPS every day. In fact, I’ve been listening to Bo & Jim when they were on Q102 WAAAAAY back when. I was a youngun then – in high school at the time. Anyway, they were having an over-the-top Valentine’s Day show yesterday morning, so I emailed them with this:

I think [Valentine’s Day] is a bullshit holiday and I write romance! And yes, you guys are making me sick! haha

Much to my surprise, I got a reply!

Happy Valentine’s Day, Michelle.
Wow, you really are an author of romance novels. Congratulations. I checked out your publisher’s site and took a quick look at your books.
 
I hope they sell a million.

HA! So. I reply with:

Hey you’re the first to wish me a happy v-day! I would love you forever if you plug me  

Well guess what? HE PLUGGED ME! And TALK DIRTY TO ME. Man it was SO awesome to hear them talk about me and my little books on the radio. HA! I totally had my 15 seconds of fame. It was greatness.

I feel SO special.

Okay that’s it for me. I gotta get to work.