Hey, I’m actually blogging over at ShoeIQ today, so could you please check it out? You might learn something about words and shoes. Then again…maybe not…  :)

Okay. So. This weekend, I managed to gain some strength back.

Friday I slept until 2:30 and then got up and moved as slow as possible through the entire house. I went and got the Sweetie Boy for our weekend together. I swear, I felt like I had been hit by a truck.

I couldn’t bear the thought of cooking, so it was off to McDonald’s which made the boy happy. Then I laid on the couch most of the evening, dozing, while he watched Monsters, Inc. (favorite line: “I think I have a plan here. Using mainly spoons, we dig a tunnel under the city and release it into the wild.”) I woke up when the credits were rolling and it was about 9. I put the baby to bed and then crawled in bed myself.

Saturday morning, the sun woke up and so I struggled out of bed. I quickly discovered that languishing in bed was NOT the way to go. It was best for my head and sinuses if I just got up. Baby boy got up and we had breakfast and then it was off to the grocery store to pick up a few miscellaneous items I needed. I actually had the strenght to go to WalMart. Shocking.

Then that afternoon, I had a boost of energy and so I decided to hang my new blinds in my office. And some curtains. Yeah, that was a mistake. I was exhausted by the time I finished. Exhausted…AND I taught the little boy how to not only say but spell shit. So, yeah, um, that went well. For some reason, I thought by spelling the word, it would escape his notice and, well…it didn’t. He was spelling it out and using it correctly, I might add, in no time.

Great.

Since I had the ladder in the office hanging blinds and curtains, I figured I’d go ahead and change out the light bulb that was burned out in the overhead. It’s one of those uber-ugly 1970s light fixtures with the two bulbs. Gaw, I hate it and I can’t wait to replace it. But I digress…so all I had were 100 watt bulbs. I switch it out and Oh.my.gaw. I feel like I should be shackled to my desk chair with a pair of handcuffs and answering questions from a sweating, spitting bad cop or something. I must find a 60 watt and STAT.

(Speaking of STAT, did anyone watch Grey’s Anatomy on Thursday? AND OH MY GOD! I could NOT believe the ending. I had to watch it again later just to make sure I really saw what I was seeing! HOLY COW! Anyway…)

I was completely worn out by this time and cranky. And so what did I do? I picked up my credit card, and my son and I went to Best Buy…and I bought a new stove. It will be delivered in March 7. I can’t wait! I’d just had it with this piece of crapola I’d been cooking on. The coils (it’s electric) are not level and I’m tired of having uneven cooking. PLUS the oven is a total POS. I could have bought a top of the line one, but I didn’t. Instead, I picked a medium-of-the-line one and went for the 24 months no interest. I just couldn’t pass it up. It’s all black like my fridge and my dishwasher. And then I will have ALL NEW appliances. YAY!

Of course, they day after I buy it, they effing put the thing on sale. Figures.

Anyway. I still couldn’t bear the thought of cooking, so it was off to Applebee’s (his favorite restaurant).

(And as a sidenote: I put all my impulse spending credit cards in a bowl of water and put them in the freezer. No more spending for me!)

Sunday, it was dinner with the family. I didn’t get to spend nearly enough time with them, though. I had to head back home to drop off the baby at his dad’s. However, he did get to play outside with his cousin. I think he needed that so much. It was definitely good for him. He crashed in the car on the way home.

And Sunday I felt almost human again. Still stopped up, still sniffling. But at least I’m not blowing my nose every 2.3 seconds. Which means, of course, since I’m feeling much better I am back at work today. I can’t remember the last time I took a sick day. I’m sure I did at one point or another…

This weekend I’m planning to paint the baby’s room and get his new blinds and curtains up. One more room down… And I’ve decided I absolutely detest the color of my kitchen walls. What was I thinking? Yeah, I hate it. So it’s going to have to be a do over. Just as soon as I decide what color I’m painting the rest of the house, then I can decide on a color for the kitchen. I’m sort of thinking something more mocha-y. Or something.

Okay, totally rambling. Can you tell I’m feeling better?

Make it stop. Just make it stop. Tired of blowing my nose; tired of sneezing; tired of coughing. Just plain tired.

I did have a little energy yesterday and probably overdid it. That’s me - I always go full throttle even when I shouldn’t. I’m paying for it today.

Have to go to Mom’s for her birthday dinner. And before I do that, I have to finish laundry and make sure the baby gets his homework done.

All I really want to do is lay on the couch.

Stayed in bed most of Friday and I feel a little better today but still sickly. I’ve found that getting up and moving around helps a little with the head congestion.

Had a shower and it helped but it’s hard with the baby boy who wants me to come and do and play. I have not much energy for that. At least I managed to get the dishes out of the sink and the dishwasher going. AND I managed to make the bed and actually get dressed today. I have to go to Walmart for somethings…I hope I have the energy.

More later.

Too sick and too tired to even try to blog. Will have to tomorrow. Maybe.

At least it’s Friday

Hey – I’m blogging over at Chicas today, so stop on by if you can.

I’ve decided I need to get back to reading to help with the writing. THAT’S what’s been missing all this time. I haven’t picked up a book in MONTHS. Months, I tell you. It’s a very sad state of affairs.

So I need to get me a dirty little book to motivate me to write again. Now. Where am I going to find the time to do that?

I used to read before falling asleep but mostly that was because I didn’t want to be bothered by the husband. Now that I don’t have the husband, I don’t read any more. I guess I used it as a barrier to keep him away from me because then I could “fall asleep” while reading and he wouldn’t pester me to have sex. Isn’t that an awful confession? Awful, but true.

I haven’t been very gung-ho on writing anything lately. In fact, it takes all I can just to write my blog entries these days. And I have absolutely nothing to blog about lately over at ShoeIQ.

My life feels rather chaotic right now and I think that might be part of the problem. I write best when things are calm and there is no turmoil. Writing while depressed does NOT work for me either. I know some folks do their best writing when depressed. But not me. And it’s not that I have to be totally 100 percent happy either. I just need balance. I don’t feel like I have that balance right now.

Valentine’s Day was no different than any other day, though I have to say something kinda cool DID happen. I listen to the morning guys at KZPS every day. In fact, I’ve been listening to Bo & Jim when they were on Q102 WAAAAAY back when. I was a youngun then – in high school at the time. Anyway, they were having an over-the-top Valentine’s Day show yesterday morning, so I emailed them with this:

I think [Valentine’s Day] is a bullshit holiday and I write romance! And yes, you guys are making me sick! haha

Much to my surprise, I got a reply!

Happy Valentine’s Day, Michelle.
Wow, you really are an author of romance novels. Congratulations. I checked out your publisher’s site and took a quick look at your books.
 
I hope they sell a million.

HA! So. I reply with:

Hey you’re the first to wish me a happy v-day! I would love you forever if you plug me ;) 

Well guess what? HE PLUGGED ME! And TALK DIRTY TO ME. Man it was SO awesome to hear them talk about me and my little books on the radio. HA! I totally had my 15 seconds of fame. It was greatness.

I feel SO special.

Okay that’s it for me. I gotta get to work.

In all my years, I have never had a Valentine’s Day that I can say, “WOW. That was the best V-Day ever.” Never got flowers. Never got jewelry. Never got anything worth a shit. I’ve pretty much written off Valentine’s Day. I even had a boyfriend break up with me on Valentine’s. Isn’t that nice? It’s left a bitter taste in my mouth.

Maybe this year will be different but I highly doubt it.

I did however get THE sweetest Valentine EVER. And it was my the sweetest boy EVER. No, not The Man. But my baby boy. Check it out.

The outside:

The inside:

In case you can’t read that it says: I love you because… you’re the best cookr. And yes, he misspelled cooker but I LOVE IT. It nearly brought me to tears. And he told me - he highlighted LOVE.

Aw.

I’m the best cooker. The best. HEHEHE

Dammit it’s sweet.

Anyway.

I swear I really think my mind is a total void still. I try to write and get nothing. And I think I know what part of my problem is. I’m not reading books like I used to. And when I don’t read, I don’t write. And when I don’t write, I struggle and I get frustrated and I get annoyed with myself. It’s a vicious circle.

Maybe I need some new music to fuel the fire. And to get back to my TBR pile. And to do some serious critiiqueing. I DO have those contest entries I simply must get to here in the next few days but I’ve been putting them off. I come home with a headache every single day and it’s really starting to grate on my nerves.

I don’t love today. Suppose I’ll head to the office. The Man is working tonight - SURPRISE - so I suppose I’ll be staying home and having sloppy joes. Yay me.

Monday was a pretty uneventful day. 

My boss ordred me a new computer for the office and it’s a laptop. I got it yesterday. It’s smoking fast with an 80 gig hard drive. AND its a Dell. Dude, I got a Dell. HAR.

Anyway - after Saturday’s scare, I headed to Lowe’s after work. Since I didn’t have the baby with me, I spent a good portion of time walking around the entire store and checking things out. Priced a new storm door for the front with installation. Priced mailboxes and posts.

Which reminds me. Shortly after getting home from work yesterday, some heathen kids decided it would be funny to (1) try to knock over my mailbox (it’s hanging by the thread of one screw on the post and is about to come off, hence the reason why I probably just need to replace the old beat upt hing) and (2) ride their effing motorbike in my yard.

I heard the commotion and when I opened my front door, they scattered like cockroaches. I started charging outside to yell at the moron on the bike but he took off and then I noticed the mailbox. The teenage girl was laughing her ass and walking towards me saying she was sorry and that it was an “accident”. Uh huh. She said she’d fix it. “Don’t touch it,” I snap.

“Sorry,” she mutters and off she goes with her boyfriend. They pause in someone else’s hard to make out for about 10 minutes.

About that time, my neighbor walked up. “I was about to run them off,” she said. Nice to know she has my back. We chatted for a minute and that’s when I headed off to Lowe’s.

Anyway! Back to Lowe’s. I got this bad-ass heavy duty Master padlock for the back gate. WOO! There is NO WAY in hell anyone is getting past that. It gives me peace of mind knowing it’s out there keeping me safe.

The creep hasn’t called back and of course since his number is a cell phone, it can’t be blocked. That’s okay. I told my Big Brother all about it. I’m sure he’d be more than happy to handle it if the dude DOES decide to call back.

I called the phone company first thing this morning and was highly agitated to learn that it’s a monthly fee of $5.50 to be unlisted. I’m sorry - but that is just highway robbery! And then they tried to sell me EVERYTHING under the sun, too. Different phone packages, better DLS, satellite TV, and did I want to combine my cell phone bill with my home phone bill? No, actually I don’t. Becuase I don’t get a paper bill anyway and I pay it online and I’m happy knowing that it’s separate, thankyouverymuch.

I also bought this nifty programmable thermostat! Now…wonder if I’m smart enough to install it myself? It can’t be that hard can it?

Now about that suckage thing… I tried to write last night. I really did. I pulled out the WIP and everything - yes the dragon story. I seem to have lost the story. I sat and sat and sat staring at a blank screen and got NADA. Nothing. Like the mind is this big blank of nothingness. Oh gaw - it’s total suckage.

What is wrong with me?

And oh - I got my monthly statement from the publisher for January today. TALK DIRTY TO ME is still selling like crazy. I didn’t even sell ONE copy of A BEND IN TIME this past month and I’m really disappointed. I guess I will have to buckle down next month and hit the marketing hard and heavy. The only problem is - I have limited funds so I will have to really stretch my advertising dollar.

Wish I could afford a spotlight in Romance Designs. Man, that would ROCK.

Anyway. It makes me wonder if my real calling is the spicier stuff like TALK DIRTY TO ME. Although I have to say I really love the time travel, it’s not very “hot” and the romance is slow moving. However, that’s because there are a lot of factors involved. I mean, it just didn’t make sense for the heroine to hop right into bed with the hero when he’s been hired to kill her. Right? And so their romance is set to a slow burn.

That changes for book two though. They’re hot and heavy in book two and there’s more of a developed love story for them.

I sometimes wish I could write again like I did for the serials. Sort of carefree and no plan whatsoever.

Oh wait - I DO still write like that. I’m a total pantser all the way. AND I never ever write with an outline or a synopsis.

Which reminds me… I really need to get that synopsis done for the dragon book…

Saturday was a pretty busy day for me. After my RWA chapter meeting (with VERY low attendance, I might add - totally embarrassing for our speaker), I picked up the baby and we went grocery shopping. Then it was off to buy cat food and to Lowe’s. I purchased the paint for his room since I had that $10 project starter card.

That afternoon, we hung out. I did laundry. He played games. I started dinner around 5 but because I was cooking a pork roast, it took FOREVER. It was nearing 7 pm and I had just taken it out of the oven to rest while I finished up dinner. The home phone rings.

It comes up a name and number I don’t recognize. I figure it’s a wrong number so I go ahead and answer - I rarely answer my phone if it’s someone I don’t know.

The guy says, “Michelle?”

“Yes?”

“Hi, this is Ryan!”

“Who?”

“Ryan from MySpace.”

Immediately, I get that tingling feeling on the back of my neck. “How did you get this number?”

“Directory assistance.”

I hung up. But I was immediately freaked out. Shaking. Scared. But I tried to remain calm because I didn’t want to upset the baby. I finished dishing up dinner. We ate. I let him stay up and watch cartoons. I searched for the area code to see where this guy was located - Nebraska.

Even if I didn’t have my name on MySpace, he could have still got it from the book cover, the website. I thought I had my number listed as unpublished and unlisted, but apparently not. Something I intend to rectify this morning. But even if I did have an unlisted, unpublished number, he could have still found me.

You know why?

Because of a website called US Search. Find anyone, anywhere. Get background checks. Get phone numbers, addresses, criminal history. Whatever you want. All you need is a name and a general location and $40. I looked myself up and even though I didn’t pay the fee, I was shocked to see the results. They have every address listed for me since basically I was born.

And you know why? Because the moment you apply for a credit card, you can be found. The moment you have a driver’s license, you can be found. Think of things like the appraisal district of your county. It’s public record. You can get anyone’s address and anyone’s appraised value of their house. And now with the Internet and all this information at anyone’s fingertips…

Scary, isn’t it?

And here’s the real kicker - I don’t have my exact location listed on MySpace. So he must have really put Directory Assistance to work.

It doesn’t matter how safe you THINK you are or how safe you THINK you’re being in Cyberspace, there are still ways for people to find you. And we all know what sort of people walk this Earth these days. Some are just not very nice. Who’s to say he’s not a stalker? Who’s to say he’s not going to get in his car and drive down here? Then again, maybe it was just a prank his buddies put him up to. And maybe by me hanging up on him, it will deter him from taking further action.

At any rate, I did NOT appreciate the phone call. Nor do I appreciate him putting the seed of fear in me. NOR do I appreciate having to worry about this. It’s a definite wake-up call to the reality o the Internet. You really can’t be too safe.

And if all of this wasn’t enough, effing MySpace gave me a trojan AND a virus. So - HOORAY for MySpace. I had to make an emergency phone call to the Brother to find out what to do and luckily, downloading Ad-Aware fixed me up. It quarantined the trojan and all is well once again with the computer. I managed to clean the virus off as well.

I’m seriously thinking of just formatting the HD and starting over with a clean slate. I’ve recenlty backed up most of my stuff but I need to do a total and completely backup of the entire MyDocuments folder just to make sure all is well. I’ve also decided I should probably invest in an external hard drive and a USB hub (the hub because all the ports are taken up in the back of the computer). I could use the external hard drive to back up important documents once a month.

Anyway - I knew better than to download crap onto the computer. But I leanred the lesson once again today. NEVER EVER download ANYTHING from ANYWHERE no matter what. At least the computer didn’t crash and I could perform serious damage control before anything really bad happened.

The coffee pot is calling me…I need it. And why does it have to be Monday already?

So. Yesterday my blinds and curtains came in. The Sweetie Boy and I went to the mall to pick them up from the store. We stopped at Chick-Fil-A on the way home because I just couldn’t bear to cook.

After dinner, while he played on the computer, I decided to take on hanging up the new blinds and curtains. Mostly because I’m impatient and I wanted to see what it was going to look like. The green curtains are a little darker green than I would have liked, but they seem to go okay. I think the jury is still out on that, though.

After about 2 hours, I got them all up. But there was a lot of cursing in between times. A lot of putting together swear words I had never put together before. The brackets weren’t complicated, but it’s very difficult to screw in screws above your head. And my arms kept getting tired.

The plastic brackets that were there before were impossible to get out - I couldn’t get the screwdriver in there to do it. And so I grabbed the hammer and just busted them to get to the screw. It was a leap of faith. I held my breath and hoped I could get the new brackets up there and they would fit okay.

It took about an hour of precise measuring, cursing, sweating, and elbow grease to get the first set up. But they looked great! I was very pleased. I really like the look of faux wood blinds. The headrail is flush with the inside of the window and it just looks grand.

The second one went a little faster than the first. Mostly because I knew what I was doing the second time and had more confidence. More precise measuring, screwing in the brackets, and the getting them into the bracket.

These blinds are a vast improvement over the $20 cheapies that were hung previously. What a difference blinds and curtains make! The curtains were, of course, a snap to get up. My biceps are quite sore today, though.

Now it makes me want to buy two more blinds for the other two rooms and just get it done with - one for the office and one for the baby’s room. These two rooms are in the front of the house and one is cream and one is white. It’s so obvious they don’t match! It bugs me that when you look at the front of the house, that’s what you see. Okay, so I’m anal and I want everything to match. I may do some measuring today.

I have my chapter meeting today and I need to light a fire under the baby boy so I can get him to his dad’s. I’ve been up since about 6 am and went ahead and got myself ready. Saves on time later. Much easier to get him ready that both of us at the same time.

I admit it. I’m a bit cranky lately. There are a lot of factors involved, too. I’ve been tired a lot. Plus I’m fighting off this cold that keeps trying to get started. Every morning I wake up with a dry throat and stopped up nose. It gets better as the day wears on. Sort of. But it still feels like an illness is coming on.

Two school districts have shut down due to flu outbreak. Thankfully, none in the immediate Metroplex area. But there’s something definitely going around. There are several sickies at the office. One of them came in with a 101 fever. Which is just stupid. Why come to work with a fever? So you can infect everyone there? I’m sorry - but I seriously doubt there is ANYTHING that important that you can’t stay home. Sheesh.

This evening was particularly challenging with the baby boy. I could tell he was tired early on because he wouldn’t take no for an answer. On ANYTHING I told him. Sometimes, it’s easier to give in that fight with him. So I gave in for a little while and then we ate dinner and he watched Justice League and then I paid bills (NEVER a fun thing) and then it was bathtime.

He was happier after a nice warm bath. I know I usually am too.

After I got him settled in bed - he called out “Goodnight, Mom!” and “I love you, Mom!” several times before crashing in about 2.3 seconds - I sat down to watch Grey’s Anatomy.

That episode was hard for me to watch. I’m not a big fan of blood and guts anyway, even if it IS a hospital show. I like that they are stretching this out over three episodes and making the storyline more interesting than the character’s messy love lives. I keep hearing one of the major characters is leaving - and I keep wondering how they are going to do it because his storyline is so intertwined with another character.

Anyway, overall I really liked it. After seeing the interns in action at the major disaster, I started to ponder who I’d want as my doctor on the scene. I think if I had to choose, it would be Alex. He has good bedside manner and he cares about his patients without getting too involved. My second choice would be Meredith.

And oh - what a shocking ending to the episode! Now I have to wait a week to see what happens?? GAW!

In other news…I received my entries for The Shiela. There are 7 and I don’t have a lot of time to judge them, so I’m going to have to get busy on that next week. Plus the entries from my chapter’s own contest have started to roll back in. Some of the judges have been very quick and that makes me happy. Others have yet to respond that they’ve even received the entires and that makes me want to bang my head against the wall.

At any rate, I’m glad tomorrow is Friday. My new curtains should be here by then. Which means I can get them up this weekend. Plus, Lowe’s is having some sort of sale or rebate on their American Tradition paint - and I had planned to buy paint this weekend - so I’m going to get it for the baby’s room.

I’ve also got to get the tax software this weekend and get my taxes done ASAP. I need to know if I have to pay or not this year - I’m terribly worried about that.

Tonight - we’re off to buy valentine’s for school. Plus I need some other things. And I think we’ll stop and get something for dinner.

I am SO glad it’s Friday!

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