I have my days where I just feel like a total fraud. Last night was one of them.

I opened up the Revision Hell book and tried to work on a few pages. I have an idea of where I want to go, it’s getting there that seems to be the problem. And I’m not allowing myself to write it out of order. I’m making myself stay chronological. That’s hard, let me tell you.

Plus, while I was writing - or trying to - I had the attention span of a gnat. I’d write a few sentences, then get up and prowl the room. Write, then get up and get a drink. Write, then get up and go to the bathroom. Write, then go wash my face. Write, then go turn off the AC (yes, I had to bend), and open the windows back up. Write, and then…well, you get the idea.

I’ve even started watching Desperate Housewives again to avoid writing. How sad is that?

It doesn’t help that I’m somewhat depressed about some things that are going on in my personal life. I can’t even begin to explain it here. It’s too long and drawn out. But suffice it to say that things are not going as planned. Then again, when do they ever?

I did manage to make it to Lowe’s yesterday for that 12 months of no interest/no payments. Yeah, I bought the ceiling fans. I’m desperate for one in the office since there isn’t one and it’s hotter than Hades in here with the computer on. That’s part of the problem, too. I seem to have a diffcult time trying to think whilst sweating buckets. I called the handyman and he’s going to come install my fan for me…and teach me how to do it so I can hang the other four. We’ll see how that goes. I may be calling him back, though.

I’m still thinking about the living room furniture I want. Make it stop! I do not need to be doing that right now. Especially with so many things up in the air.

I’m looking at the calendar and simply amazed that tomorrow is the first of May. It also reminds me I have birthday cards to go buy and get in the mail! Oh and Mother’s Day. That too.

Oh well. I guess I’ll go back to being a fraud. Oh and…my book comes out in 15 days. I guess I need that to remind myself that I am most definitely NOT a fraud.

Right?