Okay – so! Congrats to the two winners of the signed books:

Amy S
Jane

Please email me your snail mail address and I’ll get them in the mail for you. YAY!

Can I just say…Thank GOD for the school system? It’s like I have a different kid. He’s so…agreeable. He does what I ask. When I ask. I haven’t had to fight him to get him in the tub. It’s … nice. And weird!

Anyway. Here he is on his first day of second grade. He’s so dang cute I can’t stand it.

He told me at length about the Smiley Face System in which you get a happy face if you were good and a sad face if you weren’t following directions, finishing work, or listening. I told him most definitely we want to always have happy faces. He agreed! And then he told me he bumped his head on the playground. No lump but he said it was sore. Poor guy.

I’m just glad he’s back in school and soccer. I think it helps if he can interact with other kids. He needs that social time. And I need my sanity.

Tonight is soccer practice. YAY. <sarcasm>I get to stand out in the 95 degree heat for an hour.</sarcasm>

In other news… I’m writing! Yes, folks. I am. I started writing in longhand over the lunch hour and took it to the computer last night. Got about 1000 words in. And I have my handy plot board to keep me on track and in good company. I’m getting back into the story (and thinking of the sequel) so I’m really looking forward to getting it finished. I’ve been reading agent blogs religiously of late and BookEnds had a terrific post about futzing here. What really stood out for me was the final paragraph – it made so much sense – and I realized what a terrible thing I’ve done to myself: I’ve not planned ahead. And I’ve not looked forward. I sort of thought this writing thing would just happen for me. But what I failed to realize was – It will never just happen. It’s work. Hard work. And if I have any hope at all of succeeding like I want to succeed, I need to get off my ass and make it happen. I need to map out clear goals of where I want to go instead of shrugging and saying, I want to write books.

Well. That’s fine and dandy, Mik, but every Tom Dick and Harry wants to write a book.

So I did some hard thinking and I took a long look at myself and my life. And it was really hard to tell myself how lazy I’ve been. And how disappointing it is. I don’t want to let myself down again. All I can do it try and it may take me years to get to the level I want to achieve. And you know… that’s okay. I’m still young and most writers write until, well, they can’t anymore.

I’ve also volunteered to judge another contest. Seems they were running short. I should get some entries here soon. I figured as long as I keep myself enmeshed in the writing world, it will keep me motivated and inspired.

Okay. Enough of that deep thought stuff. I’m contemplating changing the name of the blog. Ye Olde Inkwell is starting to get tiresome for me. Plus I have a good idea of what I’d like to change the name to…I’m just thinking here. What do ya’ll think? Talk amongst yourselves whilst I get my kiddo to school.

P.S. I was so bad last night. I totally SPLURGED and spent $75 on Sex and the City paraphanalia. Okay, so like I NEEDED it but OMG I finally found a tote with a stiletto on it! It so rocks. I can’t wait to get it. YAY!

Seriously going now…

I think I’ve decided I need a guidance counselor for my second career choice – that being a writer. It’s funny, you’re in high school and you start thinking about careers, no one ever talks about being an author. Or how terribly hard it is. Or how much self-discipline you need. It’s never on the list of choices for careers, is it?

When I was in junior high, I remember taking one of those career quiz things. You know, the ones where you answer the questions and it’s supposed to tell you what your strengths are and what job would be best suited for you. I remember how incredibly disappointed I was when mine came back and said I should be a CPA. I detest math. And not only that, I totally suck at it.

I think another problem for me is I never really figured out what I wanted to be when I grew up. (I still don’t know.) I did everything I possibly could. Piano lessons; violin lessons; dance lessons (ballet, jazz, tap, musical comedy, modern); concert band (saxophone); marching band; orchestra; newspaper staff; creative writing class; aerospace/aviation class (I was going to be first a pilot, then an astronaut–HA!). I drove my mother crazy until she finally said – pick two things and that’s it!  

I find myself doing the same thing with my writing. I want to write contemporary. No, fantasy. No, YA fantasy. No, time travel. No, historical. Oh, hell, I want to write them all! But I also find that there are only so many hours in the day. And I’m just not sure if I have the staying power, if that makes sense. I wonder if I’m truly self-motivated enough to make this happen. And I’m also wondering if this is something I truly want to do. I’m not sure anymore. I question it daily. I question it when I sit down and read the pages and pages I’ve written and I hear this little voice in the back of my head. You so suck. No one is going to want to read this drivel. You think you can get an agent? HA! Good luck. There’s nothing about your writing that’s high concept or can stand out from the rest. You’re fooling yourself if you think you can do this. You may as well give up now, while you’re still ahead.

Seriously. That’s what I hear. It’s inner demons, isn’t it? Demons that never want to shut up. They’re hard to overcome sometimes.

I’m not saying I’m quitting. I’m saying I’m re-evaluating (still). I’m trying to figure out what my next course of action is. After two rejections, I’m wondering what I should do next. I’m wondering if my writing is strong enough to make it to the next level (that being NY). So I’ve been thinking about what I should work on and submit next. I need a plan – I function much better if I have a plan. And I think that’s why I’ve had such a horrible time at writing.

I guess I’ll figure it out eventually.

I’m off to Flash class today and tomorrow. And it’s very cloudy and overcast today. We’re supposed to get more rain, which makes me (and the ground) happy! I’m very sore from this weekend and I’ve had some strange things going on – my chest hurt so bad last night it hurt to lay down. I’m going to chalk that up to bad indigestion.

Anyway…gotta get the kiddo up and get on the road to class. Happy Tuesday!