Life’s Annoyances

August 6, 2012 by

I swear the last few days have been a real test of my patience.

Friday I took my car in for repairs. The AC went out the day before we left for vacation, which was annoying. We didn’t have time to get it fixed of course. I’d been stressing over how much it was going to cost to fix it. Turns out my stress was not undue. It’s going to cost $1400 for a new AC compressor. Normally, I’d blow off getting it fixed but since it’s been well over 100 degrees here, I can’t drive around with no AC. Then, naturally, the car needed front and back brakes. Tack on another $400. Plus it needs a new AC cabin filter and all sorts of wonderful belts. I wanted to cry. I will end up spending approximately $2000 on car repairs. Sans the belts.

I think what hacks me off the most about this whole thing is at Christmas I spent $1000 on a new clutch. I paid the car off in May 2011, so I’m not seeing a lot of big relief of NOT having car payments. It also just so happens I’d managed to amass quite a bit in savings. Seems like every time I get a cushion, the effing car breaks and I have to blow the whole wad of cash on it. It’s beyond irritating.

To top it off, I was promised the car would be fixed and ready to go by 5 pm on Friday. Husband and I were headed to get it when I get a call from the dealership to say the brand new compressor they put in…is a bad part. Which means it’s STILL not fixed. I wanted to scream.

As if that wasn’t enough, at the same time, the house AC has decided to leak like a sieve. Since we have this wonderful (sarcasm, cough, sarcasm) home warranty, I put in a claim on July 28. I knew it was a weekend and didn’t expect a call from the technician until Monday or Tuesday. I got nada. Husband called and it turns out the “technician” never received our claim. It also turns out that the home warranty people are full of shit. I’m highly displeased with the way things have gone all week. I called and remained on hold for over twenty minutes. This is totally unacceptable. Do they think I have nothing better to do than SIT on HOLD for THEM? And of course when I finally got someone, I was told that it could be a “maintenance” issue and that it “may not be covered.” That’s all well and good but I still need someone to come look at it!

By Friday, still no call from the bloody AC technician. Husband called warranty people again (again, waiting on hold for over twenty minutes because they were “experiencing a high call volumen” at 7 pm on a FRIDAY….riiiight) and the comment was that the technician “tried” to call. I call bullshit on that because NO ONE effing called and I sat by the phone all day Friday because I didn’t have a car and couldn’t go anywhere. The customer service rep promised – PROMISED – that someone would be by the house between 10 am and 2 pm on Saturday.

Did they show up? HELL NO. No call. Nothing. As you can imagine, I am frothing at the mouth by now, I’m so mad. This is like a double whammy for me – the car is busted and the effing warranty folks are practically treating us like second-rate citizens.

Look, I don’t ask for a lot. I paid my $565 for this worthless home warranty and when I file a claim I expect results of some sort. Don’t just ignore me and shirk your appointment. Show up or call for god’s sake!

I was still fuming about it Sunday so I wrote a very long detailed and angry letter to the home warranty via their wonderful survey. Guess what? They got HIGHLY DISSATISFIED on all accounts. I have (and husband has when he moved in) paid for this home warranty since I bought the house in 2006 – that’s about $3000 I’ve spent on something that has turned out to be useless. And now do I not only have a continuing leaking AC unit, but it has caused water damage on the ceiling over the tub in the second bathroom (the unit is in the ceiling over the master shower – yeah, great engineering there). I asked, point-blank, how the warranty company intended to resolve the issue. Now I get to sit and wait while the AC continues to leak and we continue to have water damage.

Now that I have that off my chest, I’m gonna go have a cookie, ‘kay?

Filed Under: Dish It Up, Life With Man Tagged With: , , , , ,

Que Sera Sera

August 3, 2012 by

Ya know… Life is funny. You never know where it will lead you or why.

I totally believed in signs from the Universe. I believed it spoke to me through small things that happened in my life. It gave me opportunities and took them away. It gave me hope and even took THAT away. Which makes me now say, “Fuck you, Universe.”

Now I’m a believer of Life is just Life. And shit happens. And there ain’t shit you can do about it when shit happens. :D For the second summer in a row, I lost my job due to a reduction in workforce. That same day I sold Only For A Knight. At first I was all, “This is a sign!” I thought I would try writing full-time while I was unemployed. I talked it over with the husband and he agreed to give me the time to give it a try. But the funny thing about that is…it never really felt right. Don’t get me wrong–writing full-time has been a long-time dream. I want to do it really bad but I wanted to do it with a clear conscious. When I wouldn’t have to worry so much about the bills. My plan/goal included paying off all my debt and stockpiling 3-6 months of living expenses. That plan was cut short when I got laid off in June.

It’s hard to explain this and it’s not something I will readily admit to anyone. In fact, it’s kinda painful to write it all out now in black and white. But here it is: I’m not ready for writing full-time. (That makes me want to cry.) Deep in my soul, I think I know that and I think that’s why I’ve been feeling so frustrated. So downright pissy about writing. It could be that I’m trying to rewrite a book to fit certain guidelines. It could also be that the stories I like to tell and want to tell don’t fit certain guidelines. Or maybe I’m just not cut out to be a full-time writer. I don’t know. I haven’t figured out the answer yet. All I know is deep down this full-time thing isn’t working for me.Yet.

I’m sure it’s because I haven’t hit my stride. I haven’t “matured” enough yet as a writer. But all the hitting stride and maturing ain’t gonna happen in less than six months. It’s just not possible. I honestly think that those writers who get laid off from their day jobs and can write full-time–and be successful!–are writers who are already insanely talented, super lucky and highly prolific.

So all this time I’ve been out of work and struggling, it’s given me a lot of time for reflection. I wonder if I could have done things differently. If I should have started out as an ebook author, as I did, or if I should have waited and done the contest circuit like I see so many writers doing–and garnering success. They final in prestigious contests, they get requests for fulls and they get contracts with editors and/or agents. I hear these success stories and I look at myself and I wonder if I’ve screwed myself and my career by the choices I’ve made.

The problem with this business, in my opinion, is there is no one who can tell you what’s right and what’s…not so right. I won’t say wrong since that sounds so negative. I mean, it’s not like you can go to your high school counselor and tell them you want to be a bestselling novelist for a living. They might ask you if you’ve been smoking crack. And we all know how we snicker at those amateurs who think they’ll just sit down and write a book, get a big contract, and make millions. God, if it was only that easy! We’d all be millionaire writers, wouldn’t we?

I guess the point I’m trying to make is this: No one can tell you how to get there. Not really. I believe this business is about faith. Faith in yourself and your career and your writing. I also believe that this business is one of soul and passion and fun. You have to have the soul for it and the passion for it or you will never succeed. And even though it’s a “job” instead of “that other thing you do” (hobby is a bad word), it still has to be fun. In the recent RWR (Romance Writers Report for members of RWA), there was a great article called “Protecting The Girl.” It really resonated with me. It made me feel I wasn’t alone. Writing isn’t about the money or the bestselling status. It’s about the love of the fucking writing. The fun. It’s about loving what you do every day. I think some writers bleed words and that is the difference from the average writer and the great writer.

I don’t want to be average. I want to be great. But I’m not there yet. I need it to be the right time for me. Even if I’m sixty when it finally happens (God, I hope not!). I know it will happen for me. Just not yet. I’m the type of person that lives with the worry of Life in the back of her mind. And as long as I have that worry, I will never be great. Hell, I’m subpar at best. I’m not lucky. I’m not insanely talented and I’m certainly not highly prolific. I wish I could be all those things. I strive to be all those things. But as I said, deep down in my soul I feel as though I’m not ready. It’s not the right time. And no matter how much I try to force the issue, it won’t change the way things are.

I’m ignoring the damn Universe and all those signs from now on. I had a plan of action. I’m going to get back to it and stick with it if it kills me. And it just might.

Que sera sera.

Filed Under: Dusty Tome, Writing Tagged With: ,

Fitting In

April 20, 2011 by

Life is funny. It seems like we struggle from the time we’re born to fit in with the world around us. By the time we’re toddlers, we want to fit in with the cooler older crowd (the ones who are 4 and 5). We want to be like our bigger, older sibling. We look up to them. When we get into grade school, we struggle to find the friends that are like us. The ones that we can identify with. The ones who love us for who we are, not what designer jeans we’re wearing.

And then puberty hits. And everything we learned back then is tossed out the window. Some of us become Mean Girls, some Nerdy Girls. Some the girls no one wants to talk to. Or the one that everyone ignores. The one that’s floating around just on the cusp of being either Cool or Nerd. We struggle to figure out who we are and what we believe in. We try things the other kids are doing because we think they might like us better if we smoke pot or cigarettes or drink a beer.

By the time high school comes around, our social group is pretty much set. Oh, sure there are other kids we meet. Some we form permanent friendships with. Others come and go through our lives, giving us a lesson we needed to learn. We grow up, mature, get smarter. Marry. Have children. A career.

Of course, I use “we” collectively. (I love writing in the collective… Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated…)

Sorry I couldn’t resist the Star Trek reference there.

Anyway. When I was in 5th grade, my teacher was older than dirt. Seriously. She was the teacher no one wanted to get. The one everyone cringed when you said you were in her class. She had my older sister (who is 13 years my senior) in her class and remembered her. Somehow I got lumped into the group of girls that were “bad girls”. I don’t remember exactly what we did to deserve staying in from recess and being lectured. Or having to write the Preamble to the Declaration of Independence thirty times (and really, what sort of punishment is that? All I remember is “We the people…”). I guess I was guilty by association because my teacher remembered my sister and she seemed to think she was some sort of troublemaker.

I didn’t really fit in with those girls, either. By the time high school rolled around, I was one of those kids everyone ignored. Maybe that was a good thing. I was neither popular nor picked on. Just one of those who was overlooked. I can’t really speak to a college experience since I’d had enough of school by the time I graduated.

I grew up. Had a few friends here and there. Pissed off some. Made a life-long connection with a couple others. I joined writing groups, trying to be better, get published, eager to learn and grow. You know what the funny thing is? These writing groups aren’t much different than high school. They have their own cliques who look at you, the outsider, as though you’re not good enough or smart enough to be part of their world. Sometimes navigating through that world has been treacherous. And sometimes it’s been rewarding. I’ve met some awesome people. I’ve met some bitchy people. I’ve met some people I would give the shirt off my back to and some I wouldn’t give a passing glance to. I’ve met some who have a negative outlook and some who can spin a positive outlook out of the worst situation.

Some have made it clear there’s a Keep Out sign with No Admittance. Even though they crack the door a little to give you a peek inside of what you’re missing. Others are happy to say Open, Please Come In. I guess I’m still trying to figure out exactly where I fit in. Maybe I don’t fit in at all. And that’s okay, too.

Filed Under: Dusty Tome, Writing Tagged With: ,

Sometimes…

February 5, 2009 by

Sometimes…I wonder if it’s worth getting up in the morning.

There is construction on the floor above my office. The smell was paint fumes (and they failed to notify the management company they were painting). It was still there all day yesterday. By the afternoon, I felt lightheaded and just generally crappy. The computer was hard to focus on, too. I knew I should have stayed home.

The kiddo is having some behavioral problems at school. They are so bad, the Assistant Principal has noticed. He is, apparently, acting up in PE and the lunchroom, not doing his work, and daydreaming in class. I’ve contacted the teacher and set up a conference with her for Monday afternoon. I notified his father he should probably also attend. I would have had the conference this week, but his dad is on a ski trip which he was too chicken to tell me about. Instead, I find out about it from my son. Those are some great communication skills, I’ll tell ya.

When I got my new computer, I let the kiddo have the old one to do homework and play games. Well, of course he’s managed to trash it by downloading games and screensavers and what-not. So since he’s having problems at school, I have forbid him to get on the computer, play the Wii or the Gameboy. He is henceforth grounded from all games until he straightens up. I’m boxing up the Wii and Man is coming to get the computer to take in to fix.

Since the kiddo has been asking to join Cub Scouts, I started looking into that. I contacted the district manager and talked about it with him. He sent me information on local packs and I’ve got a call into one of the pack leaders. I think Scouts will be perfect for him and probably give him the discipline he needs with school, too. I can only do so much myself. Sometimes I feel totally alone. Plus, I really need to get back to church with him. I haven’t gone since the Christmas Eve services.

And another bombshell dropped in my lap yesterday, too. It’s not a situation I’m happy about, but I’m dealing with it.

And this too shall pass…

I did somehow manage to get all the contest entries ready to distribute. So help me, they are going out by Friday if it kills me. And then I’m GOING TO FINISH ROME AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME.

:D

Filed Under: Dusty Tome, Mom & Son Tagged With: , , ,

Fast Weekend

October 20, 2008 by

I can’t believe how fast the weekend flew by. We were so busy!

Friday I picked up the kiddo from school and then we hung out. Went to Blockbuster and rented movies and a game and then got pizza from Little Ceasars. I let the kiddo stay up a little late and play his Wii game.

Saturday, I made pancakes from scratch for breakfast and then it was soccer time (I need a shirt that says Soccer Mom). The boys played really hard and really well – and won! Then it was back home for a late lunch and some resting. More Wii. That afternoon, we headed to the Fall Festival at school. Kiddo spent his 25 tickets fairly quickly. He did manage to win some tickets to redeem. He got: a spikey ball with squishy stuff in it, a flying saucer with goop in it (I sense a theme…), and a whoopee cushion (I think that’s his favorite). He did the whoopee cushion all the way home from the school and cracked up each time.

sigh

Boys.

We had Sonic for dinner. Yes, I was a lazy Mom this weekend on the cooking front. Mostly because I was out of everything and didn’t have time to get to the store.

That evening, the kiddo and I carved a pumpkin together. It came out smashingly well, if I do say so myself. (See post: What I did on Saturday night…)

Sunday, I got up early, cooked cinnamon rolls and put a pot roast in the crock pot for all day cooking (that’s the BEST). Then we headed to church. It ran a little longer than usual. Got home at 1 and had another late lunch and then headed back to the soccer field for his 3 pm game. Got home closer to 5. He played on the computer and I caught up with the DVR while the washer and dryer was going.

By Sunday night, I STILL needed to get to the store and I STILL hadn’t made it. I guess that means I’ll be shopping tonight. Oof.

This afternoon, kiddo has an eye appointment. Tomorrow I have an appointment in the afternoon. Wednesday morning I’m volunteering at the book fair at school. And Friday I’m headed out of town for the weekend. I am SO looking forward to that.

This is going to be a super hectic week. I will need the downtime for sure this weekend. Plus I’m preparing for NaNo. Lots of stuff to read and critique between now and then not to mention the research I need to get done.

And that’s it for me. I’m off to work and school. Happy Monday!

Filed Under: Dusty Tome, Mom & Son Tagged With: , ,

It’s the Little Things

November 20, 2007 by

I’ve been having a time on deciding what to blog about. I’m super busy at work and the kid keeps me hoping on the weekends. I am writing off and on (mostly off, sadly) but the story is still exciting to me and I’m really starting to enjoy the characters quite a lot.

So anyway… I didn’t know what to blog about and I started to think about my life. Shocker, I know. My life is not all that interesting but every now and then I get a curve ball that I never saw coming.

I was dating this guy who was in the restaurant business and, well, if you’ve ever dated someone like that than you know how challenging that relationship can be. We had a great time together but he also lived an hour (plus) away. So. Not only did we have a long distance relationship (this is DFW – everything is long distance), but he was a single dad and a restaurant owner.

After nearly a year of canceled dates and frustration, I finally called it quits. It’s still painful because he was an awful lot of fun but you know, fun and frolic can only go so far. At least as far as I’m concerned. There was no real hint of a future (in my opinion) and I just wanted to know if it was even possible.

So.

Right about the same time as I was breaking up with the restaurant guy, a really good friend (yes, a boy) had asked me to go to the movies. So, thinking it was only a strictly platonic date, I went. We had a grand time and, since he hadn’t seen the house since I moved in, wanted to come by after for a visit. Well, things took a turn after that and let’s just say there was some smooching involved.

He was my date to the Loreena McKennitt concernt last month and he comes over about once a week to watch Moonlight with me. He’s very sweet and kind. He makes me laugh and we have a nice time together.

So a few days ago, I had some trees trimmed and instead of hauling them off, the guys piled them at the curb in front of my house. Of course, the trashmen wouldn’t pick them up (even though the limbs were bundled) and so I was in a quandry as to what to do. And you know what? My knight in shining armor came to the rescue. He hauled off those limbs for me and then told me he’d be back to mow my backyard (since I’ve been a bit sick and under the weather with allergies lately).

The little things. That’s what matters most, I think. It was just that small gesture of removing those limbs (an eyesore!) from the front of my house and disposing of them for me. I think I’m in love. ;)

Just goes to show you, a man doesn’t have to have a lot of money to make a woman happen. All it takes is hauling off tree limbs.

Filed Under: Dusty Tome Tagged With: , ,