Can I get a HELL YEAH?

Yeah. That’s right. It’s Friday.


I made it to the end of the week and: (1) there was no blood spilled (that I know of); (2) I only wanted to kill people once or twice; (3) I actually went to a mid-week movie; and (4) I still have a half a bottle of wine left.

So…work has been kind of a nightmare lately. The kind of nightmare where you’re running down the hallways sweating and you can’t get away from the demon that’s following you. The kind of nightmare where you just can’t wake up no matter what you try to do TO wake up. The kind of nightmare that…well, you get the picture. The only thing that didn’t happen in the nightmare was me or someone I know getting sucked into the mattress…

I actually started working out again. It’s a good thing because I would have way too much anger to manage. I had to get it out of me somehow. That’s good stress relief.

Oh and I yelled at AT&T. Again.

Here’s the deal. My phone line has been very static-y. So bad in fact that I can’t talk on it. Not that I really DO talk on it much, but you know… the very few times I DO talk on it, I want to be able to carry on a conversation without my ear bleeding by the end of the conversation. I called the phone company for the THIRD time (yes you read that right) on Monday to get them to fix the bloody thing.

They said they’d send someone out between the convenient hours of 8 am and 5 pm on Wednesday. I get a call Wednesday afternoon at like 5 that says they are coming to work on it. But I never saw a truck. Okay. Whatever. By 7:30 the phone line was STILL bad and my internet and television was gone.


First I called the phone company. Oh, they said they had an open ticket and went to check status. Apparently, the repair person came out but because I’m now a U-Verse customer it was a problem with U-Verse and they would have to send a tech out to fix it. Okay, so, if I hadn’t have called back…nothing would have happened? They sent a U-Verse person out today to fix it. FINALLY! I have a normal phone line once again.

But I’m getting ahead of myself. The second order of business was to call the technical support people. Now I would rather fall on a sword than have to talk to these people. Really, I would. But I had no choice seeing as how their POS equipment was effing up again.

Since I have called in several times for the same issue, they transferred me to the next level of technical support. Okay, so, great. I talked to a lady. She didn’t like the static on my phone line so I told her – they’re supposed to fix it tomorrow. KMA and TS. Well, I didn’t really say the last part but I SO wanted to.

She did a few things, had me do a factory reset by pushing the little teeny tiny button on the back of the router. Everything came back up and was working and OF COURSE, the very nanosecond I hung up, it stopped working.

At this point, I was ready to walk outside and beat my head against the bricks.

Instead, I very calmly picked up the phone and called back to Tier 2 technical support.

This time I got a guy who was clearly a trainee and who clearly had a difficult time communicating. He could barely get the prepared speech out and I KNEW he was reading it.

Oh I so didn’t have the patience for this.

I just wanted to say, “Yeah yeah yeah. GET ON WITH IT.” But I told him the problem. Calmly. Again.

About ten minutes later after he had stammered and stumbled his way through the speech he couldn’t read on his card, I said, “Listen. I know this isn’t your fault but I gotta tell you I’ve been down EVERY SINGLE DAY since this has been installed. And if you or someone don’t get it fixed TODAY, I’m going to cancel the entire LOT OF YOU. Got it?”

He put me on hold.


But I was totally serious. I’d had it. Enough already. If this effing POS from HELL wasn’t going to work, then I was going to rip the box out of my wall, put it in my driveway and back over it until it was in teeny tiny pieces.

Well, that’s what I wanted to do in my imaginary world. Of course, I didn’t.

And of course, after FORTY excrutiating minutes on the phone with this guy, it actually started working again. You should have heard the jubilation in his voice when I told him I got a solid green light. You’d think I had just told him he’d won the lottery. Guess I was his first tech support call. Way to go, dude.

It’s been working all day today, except for the one hiccup I got when I first turned it on for the 6 pm news. It’s like the box has to warm up or something. I don’t know. But I don’t dare call them back because if I do, I will wish for death.

So in between yelling at AT&T, I had a heated text message relay with The Man. And not the heated kind where we talked dirty to each other. More like the heated kind where we were not exactly happy with each other.

I ate a pint of ice cream and felt better.

I am emotionally and physically worn out from the last few days. I have a very busy Saturday planned – soccer game, working the concession, and then a trip to the Coach store because I got The Call and was personally invited to their Preferred Customer Event where I can get 25 percent off anything in the store. Oh yeah. I’m so NOT passing that one up. If Coach calls, you go. You don’t tell Coach no. You just can’t. It would be a total snub.

And I figured I totally deserve to love and pet Coach bags after the last two weeks I’ve had. Now. I just gotta decide which one it’s gonna be…

T.G.I.F. Ya’ll!

(And…today is my daddy’s birthday…he would have been 82 if he was alive today… happy birthday, Dad…we miss you…)

By Michelle

I wish you all could be inside my head. The conversation is sparkling.