I like to think of myself as a strong woman. I’ve been through hell the last five years and still I manage to continue to hold my head up and stay strong.

You know what? I’m frigging tired. Defeated. Now that most of my anger has passed, I’ve entered the self-loathing phase of my recovery. I think this is just part of it. It sucks. 😀 As I look back on everything the last few months, I realize there was signs I ignored. There were things that happened that I thought nothing of when really it was a giant red flag waving, telling me to run as far away as possible.

I guess sh*t happens.

I still have good days and bad days. Yesterday was not a good one. So to distract myself, I wrote and I read. A lot. I know the self-loathing will pass. But in the meatime, it’s painful.

By Michelle

I wish you all could be inside my head. The conversation is sparkling.