Okay. I’m better. I really really am. I ate chocolate cake, strawberry sponge cake, fried salmon (it was tasty!), fried pork chops… among other things yesterday. Apparently, I was in need of fried food and fatning food. I wished for vodka at my desk but since THAT wasn’t happening I had to suck it up and get over it.

I’ve been having an…ordeal. A personal crisis of sorts. Some days are easier than others. Yesterday was NOT one of those days. I have to keep telling myself I’m doing the right thing, but sometimes the RIGHT thing is the HARDEST thing. You know? So forgive me if I get out of sorts and don’t blog. Or have a bitchy blog.

I was extremely bitchy to The Man the other night on the phone and for no reason other than…well…I was bitchy and mad about things out of my control and I needed someone to take it out on. And then I felt horrible that I did it and had guilt. And so I had to do some major sucking up to make it all better. Luckily, he forgave me. After telling me I was a brat. Which I am, so you know…it’s all good.

This past weekend, I went to Lowe’s and dropped some money on new light fixtures for the house. I’ve been fretting over how to get them installed ever since because, while I’m handy, electricity scares me. I was talking with the IT guy at work the other day and he mentioned he knew how to do that stuff and that it was easy. He told me exactly how to do it.

So, I figured I’d think on it and in the meantime I’d call my handyman. He wants $35 a wall sconce and $75 a fan to install them. And then I have a new chandelier and a new porch light I need to get installed, too. Okay, so we’re talking about $500 to get everything installed when it’s all said and done. (!) Yeah. That is SO not happening. I love my handyman to death, don’t get me wrong. But SHEOOOT. The handyman, though, said he would show me how to do it when he was here to save me some money.

Okay. That’s cool. I want to learn anyway. So last night I got a wild hair. I decided I would start small. I mean, how hard could it be, right? I decided to install the two wall sconces I got – one for the entryway and one for the hallway. Cool.

I flip on the light, go to the breaker box, find the breaker and switch it to OFF. See? I do have half a brain. 🙂 Then I dismantled the butt-ugly sconce and very carefully pay attention to what goes where. I get the new one out of the box.

Can you believe I’m doing this? I can’t. I get my ladder and screwdrivers. I wire the new light. Black to black. White to white. Ground to grounding screw. I put the new fixture in. I have no lightbulb. So I run to the store and get the proper lightbulb (but buy the wrong one first so I have to go back) and then back home. I screw in the lightbulb, I go to the breaker box and flip the switch. I go back to the light switch, hold my breath, make the sign of the cross, and flip it on.

And TADA! I have light! I did it! All by myself. I actually wired my very first light. And NOTHING BURNED TO THE GROUND. Amazing. Empowered now, I rewire the second one. I call my mommy and tell her the news and we end up talking for an hour.

And now I’m thinking I will attempt the ceiling fan in the baby’s room. Becuase I figure if I botch it up, it really won’t matter all that much since that fan doesn’t work anyway. Right?

I also have a new programmable thermostat to install. Think I can do it? We shall see.

As far as writing goes – my book comes out in print in TWO weeks! WOOHOO! AND… I finally managed to complete chapter eight of the Book From… No NO. I’m not gonna call it that anymore. *ahem* The Book. I told my friend it was like squeezing blood out of a turnip to get it done. I hope the rest of the book doesn’t go like that. I have some passages I want to have translated into Portuguese, so I’m thinking of calling my friend’s friend (who is fluent) and having her translate some sentences for me. I think she’d get a kick out of it. And folks always like to help a writer anyway. 🙂

I can’t believe it’s May! I have lots of birthdays to buy cards for. And Mother’s Day! Plus I have a chat next week and the radio show in two weeks.

That’s it for me today. I’m off to work. Happy Hump Day!

By Michelle

I wish you all could be inside my head. The conversation is sparkling.