The Weird Stuff that Happens to Me

I have strange things happens to me. I always seem to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.

On Saturday, I went to the car wash because the car was filthy and I hadn’t washed it since all the snow and ice we had. Got in behind a Dodge pickup with a lift kit. I should have left right then. But I didn’t. I pull around after paying, get in the little thing that moves you through. I hate those, by the way. I don’t like NOT being in control of my own vehicle.

Guy in the big black truck gets stuck about halfway in. We’re stopped inside for at least ten minutes. He finally starts to go again and I notice through those hang-down things (that’s a technical term) that I’m SUPER close to his back end which makes me nervous. We stop again. Then go again. And when we go again I feel a CRUNCH.

WTH? I swear I’m inches from him. I seriously think I’ve hit him. The attendant waves him through to get out of the way.

He takes off. There is still soap on his tailgate as he’s driving away. I pull up to the vacuums because I’m going to clean out the inside because it has leaves and all kinds of gross dirt (I think there was enough hair in there to make a wig…no lie). I get it cleaned out and then start to wipe down the outside. As I’m standing at the back of my car, a feel something happening behind me. I turn and there is this old man in a red pick up that NEARLY HITS ME.

Seriously? WTF is wrong with people. He couldn’t figure out how to back out of the space across from me. I gave him the hairy eyeball as I walk back the front of my car. He doesn’t get it or care.

I notice, then, there is a popped out part on my grill and some chipped paint. That wasn’t there before.

Of course the car wash is all, “We aren’t responsible for that. It’s between you and him.” I wanted to say, “Listen, dude with mustard on your face, HE GOT STUCK. How is that my fault?”

I did SORT of say something along those lines but the mustard was highly distracting. I was pretty upset about the whole ordeal. I filled out an incident report and they’re going to see if they can get in touch with the guy…who has a monthly car wash pass.

WHY do you let this guy IN the car wash if you KNOW he’s going to get stuck?

Anyway, it’s not that big of a deal, really, but I don’t feel like this was my fault even though I was behind the guy and likely did hit him. It’s a stupid situation all around.

By Michelle

I wish you all could be inside my head. The conversation is sparkling.