You really can’t write. You’re mediocre at best. You suck, girl. Give it up already.
NO! I will not. You can’t make me!
But you’re not that good. You know you’re not. You half-ass everything, even writing. Just quit while you’re ahead.
I don’t believe you! Stop trying to tear me down! I’m not half-assing it. Really!
You can’t do it and you know it. You’re fooling yourself into thinking you’re talented. Give it up!
NO! NO! NO! I won’t. You can’t make me!
This is the conversation I had with myself last night. I think it strikes us all from time to time but they have been really niggling at me a lot lately. Especially after getting yet another rejection.
Well, it was a positive rejection at least. I’m still deciding what to do with the manuscript because, really, I’m not sure if I agree with what the editor had to say. It’s one of those things I’m on the fence about and it’s probably just me being stupid. 😉 So, I’m going to sleep on it a couple of days before I make a decision. Either I’ll go for the revision and resubmit, or I’ll just pass altogether.
Still… It’s really hard not to feel like a failure sometimes.
My 12 year old niece has decided she wants to be an author when she grows up. I have to really stop myself from telling her the ugly truth – it’s a jungle out there and there are no guarantees. Instead, I encourage her and tell her she CAN write really wonderful stories people will want to read. I even bought her a craft book (Writing Magic – and I got one for myself, as well hehe). I don’t want to discourage her, becuase the world could always use more storytellers.
But then I sit back and I think… WTF? Why do I torture myself so? Is this something that I’m really cut out for? Is it really in my blood? Do I really drink, eat, sleep, breathe writing? Do I dare attempt to continue down this dusty, dirty, lonely road?
That’s when I realized… I’m not alone. In the shadows of the forest, there are others just like me. They’re walking there, silently, gripping their pens (or laptops) and furiously writing their hearts out. They’re writing the stories THEY want to write and they’re finding their way. They eat, drink, sleep, breathe it.
And, yes, so do I. It’s not something I will give up on. Not yet. I have to keep trying. I have to go forth and conquor.
SO OUT you demons, OUT! You haven’t defeated me yet! I will triumph! Even if it takes me till I’m old and gray (well, I’m gray already…so maybe just old…)
Sending demon doubt slayer your way. 🙂 On the upside you had a lot of passion in this post…good writing!
Here’s something to think about. Are you always perfect at your paying job? Do people give you good and bad advice? So what’s different about day job and writing job? Are you going to give up on your day job?
Hang in there…you’ve got a lot of friends who believe in you and your writing.
LOL you are so funny! I’m glad you decided to give it a few days.
And yes, we’re all “out here” in this fershlugging jungle, hacking away…but give up???
NEVER!!!
We all suffer from the Doubt Demons. But, especially if we stick together, we can overcome them.
I’m here with you, I’ve got your back, we can fight ’em together.
And the best way to fight them is to keep writing.
Oh, Michelle, I’m sorry about the rejection, but I’m glad you’re fighting the demons of doubt. You’ve already accomplished more than many people do. Give yourself some time to work through the emotions, but don’t give up! You will sell again. I believe in you!
Thanks, all, for the support. 🙂 It is very much appreciated!