I must rant. So if you don’t want to read a rant, you have my permission to click away now.
That’s my disclaimer. You have been warned.
It seems like every time I get ahead, something happens beyond my control and it knocks me back again. And you know what? I’m damned tired of it. The other day, I made huge progress on my WIP (and no I didn’t blog about it becuase I’ve decided that blogging about it jinxes my process. Call me superstitious if you must). Like just over 4000 words progress and it was great and fantastic and it felt good. And I got some awesome feedback on the first three chapters and was just starting to incorporate the changes to fix some glaring character errors so I could move on. And then what happens? I have a sick child and someone else needs something from me and guess what that means? I have to drop everything. I have to sacrifice my writing time.
Now, I know there’s nothing that can be done about a sick kid. He’s sick. I’m not upset about that. It’s my job as a mother to take care of him and I’m happy to drop everything and do it. I love my child. I would walk to the ends of the Earth for him. But I’m sick of everything else that doesn’t matter all that much encroaching on my writing time. I’m not talking about personal time with my family, either. That’s Necessary Relationship Stuff. I’m talking about things that get in the damn way all the time. Things that don’t matter to ME. Selfish? You bet. It’s high time I get selfish.
So this is the year of the dumping. This is the year I’m pawning off all my volunteer duties so that by the end of 2010, I will be FREE. Free to write. Free to concentrate on MY CAREER as a writer. Because it’s MY DAMN CAREER. And the only way I will ever be successful is if I take control of the situation and start using the word “NO”. A lot.
There you have it, folks. I’ve had it. I’ve officially reached my limit and I’m officially burned out. And it’s not even March 1 yet. Sad.
Now I have to go to work so I can pay my mortgage. THAT is a viable excuse for not writing.
Happy Friday.
And PS – I’m sick of winter and SPAM emails. And yes, I’m cranky. 😀
Good for you! You have your family in first place, nobody’s entitled to your volunteer work (it’s called “volunteer” for a reason), and writing is, in fact, a way of contributing to the world. Not to mention to your family. I don’t need to tell you this is a problem women run into all the time.
Good for you! I did the same thing about nine years ago and it’s very liberating. I no longer volunteer for ANYTHING. If I have to bring something for a school party or such, I tell the kids to sign up for paper plates, plastic untensils, cups, etc, so I don’t have to spend time making stuff. Bottom line, if there is no benefit for me or my family, then the answer is NO.
Tomorrow parents are cleaning up the high school softball field. I’m dropping my kid off and letting HER help clean the field. I didn’t mess it up and I don’t play softball. I write at lunch everyday, so when the group took a co-worker out for her birthday today, I declined (yes, I lied), but I got to write and that was more important to me.
It’s no fun being a doormat for everyone else. People will take advantage if you allow them to. Stay strong!
Good for you, Michelle. People seem to think writing is just some little hobby thing we do on the side. Call me cranky, too, because I’m snowed in, but I need to take a leaf from your book (no pun intended).
Until you make your writing the priority on the line with your family responsibilities, you’re going to keep getting frustrated. Yes, you absolutely drop everything for the sick kid. That’s a given. But you also say, “I’m booked” when someone else makes demands on your writing time. It’s none of their business WHY you’re booked — you’re booked.
You’re writing.
I tell people to f#5k off all the time when they try to get in the way of the writing — I couldn’t earn a living doing this if I didn’t. And I’ve cut way back on volunteering and pro bono work.
My family and my writing come first. Period. Everything and everyone else has to get in line. Boundaries are the only way to get it done.
Even if you just start by saying, “I’m writing for 2 hrs. on these three nights” — you go and do it, it’s your job, whether you’re tired or not. Someone else tries to get in the way of it, you’re already scheduled and you say NO. You feel like hanging out in front of the TV — too bad, you’ve got writing time scheduled. You can watch TV when you’ve completed your two hours.
Being a successful artist means knowing when you have to be ruthless. If someone accuses you of being selfish, actually it’s THAT person who’s selfish for not respecting your time and your commitment to your work.
Every few years, we have to cut the deadwood out.
You GO!!!! Hope the kiddo is feeling better!