Quote of the Day:
Language is a wonderful thing. It can be used to express thoughts, to conceal thoughts, or to replace thinking.
-Kelly Fordyce
My brain is empty. At least, that’s how it feels.
I was tired last night, and since I had left my thumb drive at the office (GRR), I crashed early. I’ve been trying to write, but all I can seem to do is edit. Edit the serial. Edit the book. I get somewhat motivated and then lose my momentum.
I have no more excuses, really. Even though my friend reminds me that I’ve had a major upheaval in my life. But the contest is over, the marriage is over, and the day job is calm. All I have to do is sit down and write and I can’t even seem to do that. My other friend is definitely a huge inspiration. She writes every day no matter what. She emails me daily with her page count. I know what she’s thinking – what have you written today?
The answer is a gigantic goose egg. A big ole nothing. A large fat ZERO. No words. No pages. My muse has deserted me. Where is my inspiration? Where is my motivation? You’d think with two books coming out this year, I could make it happen. I should be fired up. On fire. Burning up the keyboard and the midnight oil. I have all the time in the world to write. Yet…I can’t.
What is wrong with me? I want to. I really do. I want to write. I want to create, to make those words appear on paper. Maybe it’s because I can’t work out the plot of Story #1 or that I can’t figure out my characters motivation of Story #2. Or maybe…just maybe…I’m trying too bloody hard.
Okay, there’s a thought. So if I stop trying so hard, then I can write. But then I spend all my time NOT trying so hard, not to force and what happens? I’m still blocked! It’s a vicious circle, I tell you! It’s like I’m running on a treadmill – I’m working my ass off and I’m getting nowhere fast.
I guess that’s my dilemma today. The I’m-Still-Not-Writing dilemma. I sit and ask myself: What’s it gonna take? What will make me sit down and write when I have distraction after distraction? How can I get that focus and determination back? I have no one trying to put me in a box and tell me how to live anymore. I have no one threatened by imminent success. (Yes, I said imminent.) Even when I try to pump myself up with “You’re talented and completely fabulous. You can do this†I still don’t write. So I don’t do anything. I sit and eat those Pirouette things (which I TOTALLY love – hazelnut and chocolate…MmMm) and I watch a lot of bad HGTV. And the thing is I feel like I’m on the very EDGE of getting my groove back. Like I’m teetering back and forth yet I just can’t commit either way.
Maybe I’ll have another cup of coffee and start writing something new. Maybe that’s what I need.
I STILL feel like that, but rather than a divorce, I fired an agent and it’s only been 13 months (almost 14!). Pick up the War of Art. There’s a link to it on my blog. I’d loan you mine but it’s something I’ll definitely be re-reading.
You’ve been through a serious upheaval and even if the marriage is over, you’re still settling in (probably more than you realize). So cut yourself some slack and just keep editing, at least you’re doing SOMETHING! For all I had two sales last year, I finished NO manuscrips. Almost everything I did was editing for this or that, and of course I finally worked up a proposal for BCC, but I’m just now finishing the book. Hopefully I haven’t rambled so much this makes no sense.
:dead:
Here’s some advice from someone who knows a thing or two about that feeling: leave your desk. Take paper. Go to a coffee shop. Sit with paper in front of you. Write if you want. Do NOT write the things you’re pressuring yourself to write. Write if something comes to you unrelated. If not, watch people walk by. Stare off into space. Doodle. If something comes to you – the barrista’s pants that are too short – the hunk of muffin caught in the old guy’s beard – write. Flow. If it doesn’t, just relax. But if it does – ooooohhh if it does. While you’re pen is moving about the muffin-in-beard, jump out and surprise yourself with your plot, and see if you can keep it flowing. It’s kinda like luring your muse with a pair of kitten heels, and then just before she bends to try them on, you jump out from behind a tree and attack her! Don’t know if this will work for you, but the surprise technique always seems to pull me, if only temporarily, out of a funk.
Wanna see something funny? Check out the title of my blog today.
I am write (sorry couldn’t help it) there w/ you – can’t open word; can’t look at the computer for anything more than goofing around 😈 – I have made about 8 different designs for bookmarks but no Word doc well unless you count the labels – sheesh! :gaw:
Dennie………MIk……….get OFF the freakin’ computer. Leigh’s right. I was doing so good until I figured out how to make the wireless on my laptop work (why I want a NEO — also so I can go sit out back and write)