…that’s what I’m telling ME. Not my faithful readers. 😉
I had a bad day on Tuesday. I freely admit it. It’s hard not to dwell on the past, even though I know it’s done and there’s nothing I can do about it. Still, I can’t help but wonder if I could have done something different or tried something different or just been different. I remind myself that even if I HAD tried to do something/be something/tried something different, I think the outcome would have, eventually, been the same. It’s hard to face the truth that I didn’t belong there. I never felt like I really, truly belonged there. Maybe it just wasn’t a good fit from the beginning. I’m too outspoken, too brash, too everything. It’s who I am. I can’t change. I’ve resolved to be at peace with that.
Yesterday was better. I had an appointment with a placement agency and it gave me some hope. Afterward, I stopped at Sonic and treated myself to a New York dog and a cherry Coke. It was a nice lunch.
One of the things I make myself do is shower, get dressed (in ‘real’ clothes – not lounge pants, even though that’s what I want to wear) and do my hair. Then I sit down at the desk, answer emails and write. I have found that if I stay shut up in the house all day, I tend to go a little mad. So I also try to get out and about during the morning hours, too. In the afternoon, I pick up the kiddo from school. I have this new routine where I get to the school about 15 minutes early and read in the car. It’s been a while since I’ve been engrossed in a book like this, so I’m enjoying reading it. One of my good friends sent me her upcoming release, so that’s next on my To Be Read pile. I’m looking forward to it. And then I’ll be going back to the Seven Kingdoms to see what havoc is wreaked in A Clash of Kings.
Yesterday, I worked on the second draft of my short story. It felt productive. I think the second draft is much closer to the final draft. It’s very short and I enjoyed trying to fit a romance and some action within the confines of 7000 words. My hero is sexy. My heroine is strong. And I think it’ll need a sequel very soon. Maybe I could work it into a novella. I also got some work done on the space opera this week. I’d like to get that draft finished and edited by July 1. It’s a good goal. 🙂
We all have bad days. Goes with the territory.
You shouldn’t have to change for a job. It should be a good match. The only thing you could have done differently was implement the freelancing so they overlapped, but that was already on your agenda. The universe simply decided that it was time to make a change NOW, not wait to fit the schedule you’d set out for yourself.
As someone who works from home, writing full-time, getting up and getting dressed is one of the most important factors. I wear yoga clothes in which to write (because I take yoga breaks during the day, or meditation breaks). But when I leave the house, I put on what I call “real people pants” — meaning pants in which I’m not embarrased to leave the house! 😉
Being dressed, brushing my hair, putting on the lip gloss — all of that’s part of the physical and psychological ritual of “going to work” — even if it’s just going from the kitchen to my writing room (“office” sounds too corporate”).
Congrats on all the writing you’re doing. Doesn’t it feel good?
I can attest to this–the power of “getting ready” for the day. Some days I will stay in my sweats and T-shirt, and I feel TOTALLY GROSS. There is nothing like getting that shower, doing your hair and putting on real clothes–it really peps you up.
I am typing this in my jammies, and it is almost 9:30, so I guess I’d better get on it. 😉
I agree with Devon. Although there is always room for us to grow and learn and develop into the person we should be, we shouldn’t have to BE someone else to fit in. You’re so talented and smart that I know there is the right position out there just for you. And you will rock them with your awesomeness when they are smart enough to hire you!
Love ya!