I think I’ve decided I need a guidance counselor for my second career choice – that being a writer. It’s funny, you’re in high school and you start thinking about careers, no one ever talks about being an author. Or how terribly hard it is. Or how much self-discipline you need. It’s never on the list of choices for careers, is it?
When I was in junior high, I remember taking one of those career quiz things. You know, the ones where you answer the questions and it’s supposed to tell you what your strengths are and what job would be best suited for you. I remember how incredibly disappointed I was when mine came back and said I should be a CPA. I detest math. And not only that, I totally suck at it.
I think another problem for me is I never really figured out what I wanted to be when I grew up. (I still don’t know.) I did everything I possibly could. Piano lessons; violin lessons; dance lessons (ballet, jazz, tap, musical comedy, modern); concert band (saxophone); marching band; orchestra; newspaper staff; creative writing class; aerospace/aviation class (I was going to be first a pilot, then an astronaut–HA!). I drove my mother crazy until she finally said – pick two things and that’s it!
I find myself doing the same thing with my writing. I want to write contemporary. No, fantasy. No, YA fantasy. No, time travel. No, historical. Oh, hell, I want to write them all! But I also find that there are only so many hours in the day. And I’m just not sure if I have the staying power, if that makes sense. I wonder if I’m truly self-motivated enough to make this happen. And I’m also wondering if this is something I truly want to do. I’m not sure anymore. I question it daily. I question it when I sit down and read the pages and pages I’ve written and I hear this little voice in the back of my head. You so suck. No one is going to want to read this drivel. You think you can get an agent? HA! Good luck. There’s nothing about your writing that’s high concept or can stand out from the rest. You’re fooling yourself if you think you can do this. You may as well give up now, while you’re still ahead.
Seriously. That’s what I hear. It’s inner demons, isn’t it? Demons that never want to shut up. They’re hard to overcome sometimes.
I’m not saying I’m quitting. I’m saying I’m re-evaluating (still). I’m trying to figure out what my next course of action is. After two rejections, I’m wondering what I should do next. I’m wondering if my writing is strong enough to make it to the next level (that being NY). So I’ve been thinking about what I should work on and submit next. I need a plan – I function much better if I have a plan. And I think that’s why I’ve had such a horrible time at writing.
I guess I’ll figure it out eventually.
I’m off to Flash class today and tomorrow. And it’s very cloudy and overcast today. We’re supposed to get more rain, which makes me (and the ground) happy! I’m very sore from this weekend and I’ve had some strange things going on – my chest hurt so bad last night it hurt to lay down. I’m going to chalk that up to bad indigestion.
Anyway…gotta get the kiddo up and get on the road to class. Happy Tuesday!
There’s nothing wrong with writing in multiple genres.
So here’s some tough love career counseling:
In my opinion, there are several things that will help you get on track:
–write every day. Even if you’re tired. You write in spurts and then make excuses not to write and then get frustrated. Instead of breaking the pattern, you repeat it. You feel better when you write every day. So get out of your own way and do it.
–finish what you start. You jump from project to project without finishing. Unfinished projects drain creative energy — believe me, I know, I’m always juggling a half a dozen and I get overwhelmed. I prioritize them by contract and deadline as much as I do by what’s pulling the hardest.
–Do multiple revisions. The single revision is fine as a first revision, but most books need multiple revisions before they’re ready to submit. Revise; put it away for two months while you work on something else; go back and do a fine-tooth comb revision; put it away; do it again. Be less concerned about getting it out quickly than getting it right — although, if an editor requests a revision, you MUST sit down and get it done in a matter of weeks, not months, if you expect the editor to take it and you seriously. You have to prove you’re committed and reliable.
You’ve built credits, you’ve built a track record. Do you want this enough to do what you need to do to make the leap to traditional publishing? That means putting the writing FIRST, treating it as a second job for now, but giving it more time and commitment than you give to your first job. The only person who can answer that question is you. You won’t make the leap if you keep treating it like a hobby. There’s too much competition out there. It’s not just about being good enough — it’s about being committed enough.
You’re good enough.
Amen to what Devon said! You’re definitely good enough. She’s right, it’s the level of committment. It’s up to you to decide how committed you want to be. Writing is definitely in your blood. You have that compulsion to write that true writers have. Only fellow writers can understand! 😉
Painting can really work your pecs and chest muscles. You may have pulled something or have soreness from that. Take it easy! Enjoy the rain!
Michelle, how funny we’ve written blogs about multiple genres the same day. You already know I think it’s a good thing. Why should you stick to one genre? It’s like just eating fruit when you could have lobster or ice cream, too. And my first drafts always suck. That’s what revisions are for. Even Nora calls her first draft a pos: pile of shit. And two rejections are nothing! Go to Sherrilyn Kenyon’s website and read her story. But despite everything she was going through, she kept on. I know a lot of writers like that.
I just have one piece of advice, and it’s nothing to do with writing. If your chest hurts like that again, call a doctor!
What Devon said too! And when you find that Guidance Counselor, send me their number please.
Seriously, you’re a terrific writer. Please don’t quit.
Thanks, everyone! 🙂 I promise I’m not quitting. I’m just trying to figure out who I am as a writer. I’m trying to decide where I want to go with my career and how to get there. That’s all. I *think* I can make it as a writer, but you know…there’s those Doubt Demons.
I read a lot of agent blogs and they all say the same thing – and it’s nothing I haven’t read before or didn’t know already. I guess that’s why I’m really wondering if I have what it takes to get there. It’s scary out there. And sometimes you just need someone to hold your hand every now and then. 🙂
Boy just about everybody replied before noon and then here I come. But I can’t get to the blogs until I get home. Great advice and wisdom from all. You can do it! You must treat this as a second job. Write for you first, and no one else. Let yourself go in that first draft and don’t think about the end result. You should feel the joy during that phase. Writing in mulit genres–don’t waste your energy worrying about that. Hello you are writer..you write lots of different things. And for what it’s worth I can tell you were into this post…the emotion shows and therefore well written.
Everything DEvon said except….Steph Tyler works on multiple wips at the same time. And I do mean AT the same time like all in one day, hopping all around, not just in a week or something. Of course she’s also a stay at home mom too (with a special needs kid).
There’s nothing wrong with writing in multiple genres….flexibility is GOOD because it can equal longevity. But you do have to finish a WIP 🙁 LOL I could probably say a lot more but I’d only be repeating what you’ve already heard. YOu know I’m here if you need me though.
I know you. And know you can do it. And HAVE done it. And WILL do it again.
Sometimes we just have to sit back and re-evaluate the next step.
You are a wonderful writer and a talented one.
Never give up!