Self Doubt

Is it just me, or is Bo Bice (American Idol) smoking hot? Dammit… I was watching him tonight and couldn’t help but think how incredibly good-looking he is. A much better performer by far than Constantine. I just don’t like Constantine, I guess, and I never have since the very beginning of the season. I really don’t like his vocals and I’m not a big fan of his “stage presence” that everyone keeps talking about. Bo, however, is another story. I love the scruffy facial hair thing going on. And the long hair… yum. If he showed up on my doorstep I certainly wouldn’t turn him away. I was actually compelled to vote for him tonight. First time I ever voted for anyone on American Idol. Now I’m really a geek.

Okay, enough drooling. *reaches for tissue and wipes keyboard*

Fighting Self Doubt
Two of my writing friends got an agent recently. I am so happy for them! But at the same time a little envious. I wish it was me. I’ve been thinking about it for a few days now and I think how incredibly sucky I must be. I wonder what’s wrong with my manuscript that it keeps getting rejected. Hell, I haven’t even gotten the nerve to read the crits on my contest entries I got back on Friday. The envelope is still sitting on the table by my desk. Of course, I peeked inside to see the score sheet. The scores were wide-ranging. I thought about reading them tonight but couldn’t get the nerve. Maybe I should just throw the entire ms. out and forget it. Or maybe it’s time to turn it into a serial. I don’t know.

I sent out the first six pages of my new pirate story to my chapter members. I still haven’t had the courage to read their crits. I’m lame. And scared. I don’t know why. Getting crits has never bothered me before. I guess I’m afraid of reading that I have zero talent and I totally suck, so I don’t read them at all. Even though I really want to send in these pages to a contest. I’ve got to get off my duff and read those crits, revise, and send in the pages.

In the meantime, I really do have to get some writing done on the romance serial. It’s really starting to annoy me that I still have to write it and it’s to the point now that I hate the characters and the storyline. These bitches are getting are my nerves. Sometimes I wish I could just throw one large grenade and wipe out the entire cast at once and say THE END. But, alas, I cannot.

And for whatever retarded reason, I have this really bad pain in my neck and my right bicep. It hurts like the devil. I’ve been using heat on the neck pain all evening. I’ve got heat on the arm. I fell asleep on the couch for about 30 minutes (watching a documentary about Errol Flynn – man he was hot, too [what can I say? I’m lonely]) and woke up in so much pain I could hardly move.

Also, I’m annoyed by the Victor’s Secret commercial pushing their new IPEX bra. I absolutely despise the way the girl stands in the commercial – you know the one. She’s wearing the skimpy black panties and the new bra and she’s standing there with her boobs pushed out and her back arched and her legs hip-width apart. Her hair is all flowing around her face. It annoys me to death because in order for me to look like her in that outfit (if you can call it that) I would have to stand in that weird-ass position. And that just ain’t happening when you have a 3-yr-old and you have to work in the real world for a living. HA

Okay, I’ll quit complaining and bitching. I have writing to do after all.

Idea Box
I’ve a new category called Idea Box. I’m going to be posting some writing prompts and ideas as I think of them. Feel free to use them for your own writing, but I’m posting them as a reminder to me to write.